Sofie Claire, you have officially completed one month of life. There have been so many times this month that I've thought, "I need to write a blog about that!" but I haven't had time to keep up with my thoughts as well as I intended to. I'm a little bit sad about that.
This has been an incredible month for us...possibly the most difficult month of your life, full of experiences and visitors, lots of trials and lots of errors. When I think back to those first few days I can't believe how much you've already changed. I don't even know where to begin!
In the beginning you nursed constantly and lazily. It was common for it to take an entire hour to complete a nursing session, and you'd be ready to eat again half an hour later. I had a hard time keeping up, both physically and emotionally. It's quite an adjustment getting used to having a warm body attached to you twenty-four hours a day, and I was constantly commenting on how hot I felt, and how sweaty and gross I was. I've never enjoyed a shower as much as I have this past month! You didn't sleep well, not surprising, most newborns don't. I was happy to get a four hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep, and even then you wouldn't sleep at all unless you were physically contacting one of us, and that meant that any sleep I did get was only half sleep, since I was constantly aware of you. I didn't really know you, Sofie, we had only just met, and it was fun and exciting to finally be introduced to you, to learn your facial expressions, discover your routine and to fall in love with you in a new sort of way, this parent type love that I'd never experienced before. What a rollercoaster! More than once I found myself sobbing uncontrollably, and it felt so good to just let go. It was one of those amazing things your hormones does for you in those early days to help you digest the shock of being someone's mama.
Now, Sofie, you don't seem like a newborn anymore. One day I was giving you a bath and I couldn't believe how big you seemed. At your four week appointment you weighed 9 lbs. 9 ounces, an entire pound more than you did when we brought you home from the hospital, and were 22 inches long. You are growing like a weed, and you are strong. You hold your head up and look around, you kick your legs and wave your arms, and the pediatrician called you, "chatty." Oh boy! You give us the most adorable smiles, but you are discriminating, you wouldn't want us to think that we are too entertaining now would you? We know your facial expressions and your cry, and we're getting used to this whole parent thing. You're getting easier to handle. You nurse less frequently, and you sleep on your own now. The past two nights you've spoiled us completely by sleeping 6 hour stretches before I woke you up because I needed to nurse! You won't even sleep snuggled up on my chest anymore when I want you to, and that is what I'm learning, Sofe, that this parenting business is bittersweet. I'm thrilled with every new skill you develop and I'm so excited to see you grow and learn and become the little person that you will be, but with every milestone there is this sorrow like I am mourning the loss of who you were, that sweet tiny newborn snuggled up for a mid-morning nap is gone now, and I will only visit her in my memories.
No matter what Sofe, I will love you. I will always love you.
This has been an incredible month for us...possibly the most difficult month of your life, full of experiences and visitors, lots of trials and lots of errors. When I think back to those first few days I can't believe how much you've already changed. I don't even know where to begin!
In the beginning you nursed constantly and lazily. It was common for it to take an entire hour to complete a nursing session, and you'd be ready to eat again half an hour later. I had a hard time keeping up, both physically and emotionally. It's quite an adjustment getting used to having a warm body attached to you twenty-four hours a day, and I was constantly commenting on how hot I felt, and how sweaty and gross I was. I've never enjoyed a shower as much as I have this past month! You didn't sleep well, not surprising, most newborns don't. I was happy to get a four hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep, and even then you wouldn't sleep at all unless you were physically contacting one of us, and that meant that any sleep I did get was only half sleep, since I was constantly aware of you. I didn't really know you, Sofie, we had only just met, and it was fun and exciting to finally be introduced to you, to learn your facial expressions, discover your routine and to fall in love with you in a new sort of way, this parent type love that I'd never experienced before. What a rollercoaster! More than once I found myself sobbing uncontrollably, and it felt so good to just let go. It was one of those amazing things your hormones does for you in those early days to help you digest the shock of being someone's mama.
Now, Sofie, you don't seem like a newborn anymore. One day I was giving you a bath and I couldn't believe how big you seemed. At your four week appointment you weighed 9 lbs. 9 ounces, an entire pound more than you did when we brought you home from the hospital, and were 22 inches long. You are growing like a weed, and you are strong. You hold your head up and look around, you kick your legs and wave your arms, and the pediatrician called you, "chatty." Oh boy! You give us the most adorable smiles, but you are discriminating, you wouldn't want us to think that we are too entertaining now would you? We know your facial expressions and your cry, and we're getting used to this whole parent thing. You're getting easier to handle. You nurse less frequently, and you sleep on your own now. The past two nights you've spoiled us completely by sleeping 6 hour stretches before I woke you up because I needed to nurse! You won't even sleep snuggled up on my chest anymore when I want you to, and that is what I'm learning, Sofe, that this parenting business is bittersweet. I'm thrilled with every new skill you develop and I'm so excited to see you grow and learn and become the little person that you will be, but with every milestone there is this sorrow like I am mourning the loss of who you were, that sweet tiny newborn snuggled up for a mid-morning nap is gone now, and I will only visit her in my memories.
No matter what Sofe, I will love you. I will always love you.
