Sofie's Spot 24 Weeks

Goodness gracious, check out that belly! Told you I had a growth spurt this month. I've gained a whopping 25.5 total pounds, which is a constant source of anxiety for me. I had intentions to only gain 30 total. Middle of the road between the 25-35 "they" recommend. Looks like I'm well on my way to 50...gloom. The belly is starting to get in the way. I have backaches every night, I'm finding it harder to get out of my chair and cutting my toenails last week was quite a challenge! I've been much more active since the weather has finally gotten nice, and I've made it over to the track for a jog a few times now. I can't tell you how satisfying it is to troop around that track with my belly bouncing right along...I feel a bit like a superhero! Sofie's been very active too. She loves to have a half-hour aerobics session around 1:30 AM, and we've noticed that sometimes my belly is really hard (when she flips over and sticks her butt out) and then she'll flip back over and it will get soft again. I'm pretty sure she's still hanging out breach since I often find myself squirming through some "friendly" little kicks in the cervix...fun! We signed up for some Bradley Method childbirth classes that begin next Monday. I'm pretty excited about starting them. They claim that 86% of couples who finish their classes have natural, un-medicated births. Much better than the national average of 10%! They focus a lot on the husband's role as coach, which is really good because I have a feeling I'm going to need all the help I can get!

Surprise!

So..uh..remember how we wanted the sex of the baby to be a surprise?

Yeah...you remember.

And remember how the ultrasound tech might have had a little slip up and said "her" but maybe she just said "our" and we weren't really sure what we heard?

Yeah...you remember that too.

Well guess what?

We had a prenatal appointment today, which was pretty uneventful overall. Everything is normal and on track, except that I now weigh as much as a hippopotamus, but we won't mention that...

We were anxious to hear the report from the ultrasound, since the ultrasound tech really wasn't allowed to tell us anything juicy. So the midwife opened up our file, came and stood right next to me, and together we read through the results. Singleton, breech position, something about the placenta being in the right place...yada yada yada...head circumference measures such and such weeks, something about the brain...yada yada yada....

...and of course I was reading ahead...

"The baby's gender is female. THE COUPLE DOES NOT WISH TO KNOW THE GENDER OF THE BABY."

OH....shit!

By the time the midwife got to that section she just skipped over it and moved away from me, but I had already seen it. Then I had the enormous weight of keeping it quiet for the rest of the appointment, and of course Ben didn't have a clue, because he was sitting on the other side of the room.

So...needless to say, I'm a bit disappointed that my surprise has been so completely ruined, but since it's been ruined for us we thought we'd share the news with the rest of you.

And while we're ruining surprises...

It doesn't seem right to call a real little baby girl Worm as we have been calling the somewhat abstract child hanging out in my belly these past happy weeks. So we're saying goodbye to our little Worm and hello to little Miss Sofia Claire.

On Being Poor

Ben and I are pinching pennies.

Since he's graduating next month, CONGRATULATIONS PEAPIE!, he's been working on applying for jobs, and every day I'm disappointed and worried when no one calls for an interview.

My brain has gone into overdrive. Every little purchase has been completely over-analyzed. Today I got my hair cut. I've been needing a haircut badly for about two months, and working on saving the money for about a month. Instead of getting that nice, refreshed, light feeling that I normally have after a haircut, I felt ridiculously guilty for spending the money. I went to Target and bought some 3.00 mousse and flip-flops for 2.50 and the whole time I was thinking..."I don't really need mousse. I could totally live without this. And it's not even very warm out yet. These flip flops can wait. I think I have some crusty ones from last year I could dig out." I spent some time torturing myself by looking at the maternity clothes and the baby things. There was a nice pair of dress pants for twenty bucks, but I thought, "I'm only going to be in clinic for a few more weeks, and I've gotten this far on hand-me-down, high-water dress pants. I can make it a few more weeks..."

We've been talking about staying in this ghetto apartment until December...until I'm able to contribute a little to our income again. There's really barely enough room for the two of us, and I have been over and over the floor plan trying to figure out what we can get rid of and how we're going to squash in the bare necessities that we'll need for the baby. I've been considering how I'm going to manage laundering cloth diapers without a washer and dryer, but I'm still committed to using cloth diapers because I'm pretty sure we're not going to be able to afford disposables. I've been praying that I won't have a problem breast-feeding since formula is so outrageously expensive. And I've been brainstorming all of the options for free entertainment that will keep me from going stir-crazy in a house without a television, and most likely no internet services.

But the truth is...there's part of me that's really looking forward to the challenge of it all. I always learn so much about myself, about my strength and ability to persevere, from the situations that I would never have chosen for myself.

I know that Worm will have no concept of the fact that it is "doing without." I'm perfectly capable of keeping Worm's belly full, it's bottom dry, and of providing all the love and snuggling a little one needs. By the time Worm is a year and a half old, Ben and I will be in a very comfortable position, and all this struggling to keep our heads above water will be a distant memory.

I hope that we'll remember to teach Worm to value life and not things. I hope this child will feel confident pushing out beyond what's comfortable and in doing so embrace the lessons that are truly meaningful. Worm may feel the sting of being denied the best of the best, but it will never feel the sting of being denied our love, our time and energy, and our dedication.

Bouncing Bellies!

I apologize for the lack of postage lately, but here is your warning that there will be very few posts until May. This is because the semester is wrapping up, and I'm pretty sure that they're trying to kill us! If anyone feels like having a little fiesta around May 11th or so, (Heidi?!! Kristy??!) I will certainly be on that bandwagon.

I think that Worm has been growing exponentially lately. Just wait until you see the 24 week belly picture! Exponential growth is also the only way I can explain how ridiculously tired I've been. Monday night I went to bed about 7pm and slept like a baby all night. I got up on Tuesday and got ready for the day, but I felt like a giant turd. So I went back to bed and slept until 3:30! What the heck? I've really been dragging all week, and with so much to do it's awful timing. Perhaps this is an early lesson in how to be flexible with plans, something that I'll need at least 100 or so lessons in before I get any good at it...

Today we learned that Worm's movements are strong enough now to cause visible movements on my belly. Watching my belly bounce around makes me giggle uncontrollably, and then the moving stops as if Worm is thinking, "Earthquaaaaake! Take cover!" After awhile it will start up again and the whole cycle repeats. Somehow I'm still having a rough time believing there's actually a little being growing in there. Maybe once things settle down a bit and my attention is less frayed it will start to sink in. Or maybe, they'll hand me a baby at the hospital and I'll say, "Wait a minute...where the heck did that come from?!"

Guess we'll just have to wait and see...

Worm's First Pictures!

Well folks, here they are...the long awaited ultrasound pictures!! Worm is quite a wiggly little one, and didn't stay still during the entire half hour process. At one point Worm even got the hiccups! Worm is hanging out breach at the moment, weighs in at a whopping 377 grams (about 3/4 of a pound) and is measuring right on target except for it's extra-long femur bones. Looks like we might have a tall kiddo.

Though we don't know for sure, we're suspecting that Worm is a little girl because after we diligently closed our eyes and did not peek while the ultrasound technician recorded the sex, afterwards she said something to the effect of, "Got 'er hand up by the face." I'm not sure if she said her or our, but Ben's pretty confident he heard her. I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Here's Worm's little arm and hand...

A scary alien face view...

Another scary alien face...

A profile shot...

and another profile shot with a view of the extra-long femur!

Brace yourselves because I already think this is the cutest little baby in the whole wide world!!

(If you click on the image it will get bigger! If you're not my mother, you probably already know this!)