Eleven Months

Started walking, not very steady (now you are, even standing up on your own without assistance) climb like crazy...love Sofie's two-step stool in the bathroom, mini table and chairs, couch, Sofie's bed, etc.

Throw things behind your head

Know what things are for, put Sofie's necklaces around your neck, hats on your head, phone up to your ear, etc.

Bedtime routine, hold you, hum, and sway, you lay your head on my shoulder and wrap your arms around my neck and your body goes calm

hold your arms out with your hands palm up when you want something

So Flipping Cute

Nine/Ten Months

Van Van, I must apologize that the following notes are all that formally materialized regarding your nine-month update:

Crawling to cruising and letting go, walking while holding our hands

Responding appropriately to gimme 5, clapping, waving bye bye is emerging, tapping knees for happy deuce song (Happy to See), babbling up a storm

Learning to use a sippy cup, enjoying big kid food at the table with family

drama king, head on the ground screaming when you are mad

enjoying books, music, other people...complete ham when someone's paying attention to you

two top teeth are in, first the right then the left

Mama's boy, fine until you see me walk in the room and then you follow me whining dramatically until I pick you up....pulling yourself up on my pant legs

Parenting, lately, has really been challenging me. You and your sister have been morphing so quickly that I barely have time to adjust before you're changing the game on me again. I am too often giving in to frustration and exhaustion and I find myself wishing that I could just live in the moment and soak you guys up a little bit, instead of constantly trying to figure out how to guide you in the right direction. This parenting gig...it is rough sometimes :)

You are FINALLY sleeping through the night after some pretty brutal sleep training. After nine and a half months of you waking me up every 2/3 hours so you could have a leisurely half asleep nursing session I decided enough was enough. You are now going down for bed around eight thirty with minimal fuss (most nights!) and waking around five thirty or six for the day. Although I would obviously prefer that you would sleep until at least seven thirty every morning like your sister (and shhhhh...don't tell anyone that I already sometimes ache for your little snuggle bod in my bed at night) I can't really complain!

You are a speedy little crawling machine and well on your way to walking. You pull yourself up on just about anything (sometimes you end up pulling things over on top of yourself!) and you get especially excited if it's something you can push around while trying out your legs. You love your walking toy and sometimes we take it out into the long hallway so you can practice without running yourself into Sofie's messes every three feet. You grin with your whole face and huff and puff and proudly careen that thing down the hall as fast as you can go until your legs fall out from under you. You are trepidatious about standing independently, but when we can trick you into giving it a try you can balance for quite awhile on your own. I'm looking forward to cheering on your first steps...it won't be much longer!

We've completely abandoned baby food and you pretty much eat whatever the rest of us are having at mealtimes. You're getting better at managing bigger chunks of food, so it has become much easier to share our daily menu with you. Your taste in foods sort of cracks me up. Given the vehemence with which you denied baby food it's a welcome surprise to watch you gobble up spinach, portobello mushrooms, tofu, and asparagus. You've got a healthy (er unhealthy?!) appetite for non-foods too and we are constantly fishing things out of your mouth with trepidation. Let's just say we've called poison control more than once!

This month I'm struck by how much you understand. You can shake your head no, wave goodbye, and put balls into a container. You love to push buttons on toys and you know how to turn on your sister's Tag reader and then jab it haphazardly at a book until it rewards you with a sound. You are a music freak and you dance like a crazy man, bopping, waving your arms, and banging your head to the beat. You like to play with the toy instruments and you sing, "Ahhhhhhhhh" along with Sofie and I. You are such a happy, wonderful little soul, and the cause of much laughter in this household. You have barreled into our lives and claimed your piece of our pie and, little man, I just can't imagine it any other way!

Eight Months

Little man you are eight months old today and you are so edible right now I can hardly stand it. You've entered into my favorite stage of baby/toddler-hood and it has been so much fun to interact with you lately. You are dripping with new skills and oozing with personality and we are just having such a fun time soaking it all up.

You started crawling early in the month and you're getting pretty good at it. You're so delighted to be able to independently explore your environment and you amble right up to everything and stick out your little index fingers for a poke. I like to call them your ET fingers and they are your first chosen line of experimentation. Other preferred experimentation measures include knocking things over, banging on them, and, of course, tasting them! When you first started to crawl Sofie and I would go and sit in her room and call out to you. We could hear you grunting and fumbling down the hallway and then your little head would pop around the door frame and we would all giggle together. So fun! Now you try to keep up with us as we flit from room to room and you have no qualms about letting us know just how ticked off you are when we turn around and go back the other way after you've just managed to catch up. Just today you managed to pull yourself up to standing a few times in your crib and I imagine it won't be long 'til you're able to keep up with us just fine!

The warmer weather has brought a few guest ladybugs into our home this month and you seem to have some sort of ladybug radar. Several times I've watched you poke intently at something on the floor only to discover some poor ladybug trying to escape. Goodness knows how many have made it into your mouth! You were also very interested to inspect some worms we found in the dirt with Grampy Dan and Marcy's help this Easter. I know you're young yet, but in contrast to Sofie's very cautious response to creepy crawlies your interest just screams BOY!! to me.

You are really talking up a storm and you'll go on and on about dada and mama, and nanana. Then you throw in a little yaya and some spit bubbles and then mix it all up a bit. You LOVE music and every time you hear it you rock your little bod back and forth. Sometimes you'll even add in your primitive singing, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Daddy likes to tell people your favorite song is the Fillet o'Fish song from the McDonald's commercial because every time you hear it you stop what you're doing to do your little dance. You're absolutely mesmerized by The Wiggles and you completely freeze in awe of them when we play their music videos for Sofie.

Van, your presence has been an absolute delight this month. Your crazy antics fill us up with laughter. We are so fortunate to have you as a piece of this little family of four, an extra slice of happiness to brighten our days together.

Seven Months

Well big guy another month has gone by in the blink of an eye you've really made some big changes this month. You found your voice and spent lots of time blabbering on and on about Daddy (even though I spend every chance I get right up in your face enunciating, "MMMMMama, Mmmmama!") You sprouted two bottom teeth, first the left and then the right. And you perfected what I like to call the seal, using your hands in unison to scoot yourself forward flat on your belly. All in all a month well played!

You've joined us for meals at the table, taking over your sister's booster seat, and you think you're a total hot shot. I usually put some little bits of food out for you to experiment with and you get your little pointer finger out and scoot it all around in front of you. When that's not getting you anywhere, you try to snag some by opening all your fingers and then closing them into a fist hopefully with a few unlucky morsels tucked inside. Sometimes you'll even scoot it over to the edge of the table and then lean over and stick your tongue out for it. You're a big fan of Cheerios and you do your best to pick those out from the rest.

Your favorite game right now is peek a boo. You get so incredibly excited to pull that blanket down from over your face and your whole body tenses up in anticipation. If I'm not replacing the blanket fast enough you'll lurch towards me and grab at it anxious to play again. You also like it when I open my mouth wide and wait for you to put your fingers in. Then I gobble them up over and over and over again while you squeal with delight.

It has become quite clear to me this month that you are a BOY and very different from your sister. You are growing and developing differently than she did and your personality is one of a kind. You've made me rather anxious at times, presenting me with new and different challenges than I'm used to, but I'm ready to tackle them with you and excited to see what new challenges the future holds for us, my sweet baby boy.

Six Months

My little love you are six months old and your Mama is absolutely flabbergasted that half a year could have come and gone already. It's so hard to believe that in six more months I'll barely remember what it feels like to tote you around on my hip all day long just like I can hardly recall what it felt like to carefully support your squishy newborn body just six months ago.

You are sitting solidly and focusing your time on getting into a crawling position, though you're still nowhere near actually crawling. One evening as you were working quite intently, your Daddy and I spotted you doing a perfect downward dog. It's so interesting to watch you fight with your uncooperative appendages, reigning them in just a little more each day. You're very determined and you know what you want. You get frustrated when you can't quite figure out how to get it and you sure aren't afraid to voice your discontent.

You're still not interested in food, in fact you're quite frustrating to feed since you won't open your mouth and you try your best to ignore me. Often you turn your head away and won't even make eye contact with me, though I'm pretty sure you're paying attention to the ridiculous antics I perform to try and get you to eat because I catch you grinning in response. You still grab at anything and everything that's on my dinner plate and recently we were out to dinner with your Auntie Heidi and I gave you a wedge of pita to taste. You love love LOVED it, couldn't get enough of it, had a royal meltdown when I took it away from you. Since then I've been trying some bits of table food with slightly more success, so perhaps we'll just skip that smooshy baby stuff on the spoon and go straight for the good stuff.

You are such a snuggle bug and I absolutely love it when you're sleepy and you throw your arm around my neck and plant your forehead into my chest for a little rest. Sometimes you make a contented, "Hmmmmm." and I hum right back. When you're hungry and I'm not moving fast enough for your liking you grab my face with both palms flat against my cheeks and give me big slobbery kisses and you grin like a lovestruck fool when I cover your smooshy cheeks in kisses. I'm really enjoying our snuggly times right now, since I know that all too soon you won't be too interested in staying still long enough to let your Mama rub her cheek on your fuzzy little head.

You're very interested in what's happening all around you and you've started to become very distracted when you're supposed to be nursing. You'll nurse, nurse, nurse, and then crane your neck around to see what's happening behind you. You're particularly enthralled by The Wiggles, a favorite of your sister's, and if she's indulging in their music videos I don't even try to nurse you.

Lately I've been trying to think of a good adjective to describe you and I'm really having a hard time pinning down your personality in words. You're focused, but distractable, calm and pleasant, but then furious. The best word I've been able to come up with is intense which, I think it's interesting to note, is a word that I chose to describe you when you were only a few weeks old. My imagination bubbles over when I consider what you might accomplish with such a disposition at whatever it is that catches your interest in the years to come. What a joy it is to be your Mama.

Five Months

Moose, you are five months old and counting and you are growing like a weed. At your five month check up you weighed in at nearly eighteen pounds and at 26.5 inches you've outgrown the height limit on your infant car seat. You are thriving on a diet of little more than mama milk, since you're still entirely unimpressed with baby food. Every couple of days I try again to get you to eat some, in hopes that maybe you'll warm up to it eventually, only to be met with complete disinterest. You'll open your mouth for me once or twice and then you've moved on to crumpling up your bib and working on shoving that in your mouth, gripping the spoon so tightly that I can't pry it from your fingers, or craning your neck around to see what your sister might be up to. I've got my work cut out for me!

You are going through a very sensory stage and your arms seem to have a mind of their own. You hold them out straight and tense and waggle them around until you feel something and then your little fingers grip it as tight as tight can be. The ultimate goal, of course, is to move whatever you've managed to grasp close enough to your mouth to get a good taste of it. You are SO strong. Recently you pulled a straw from my drink and I had a really difficult time prying it out of your hand so I could finish my drink. You're particularly fond of Sofie's hair and manage to get a fistful of it nearly every time she leans over to smother you with kisses. You're lucky she's a benevolent soul!

New tricks you've been working on this month include blowing spit bubbles (this keeps you quite entertained!), sitting up (more and more steadily each day), trying really hard to get up onto your hands and knees, and playing with your socks (more accurately your shoes or socks with the goal of getting one off and into your mouth.)

You are a rotten sleeper, waking up every three or four hours throughout the night. You do NOT like your crib and as much as I've tried to get you used to it you'll almost never sleep for more than an hour in it. You still sleep pretty soundly in your swing (we should've bought rechargeable batteries!) but somewhere along the line, I literally have no recollection of how it even happened, you managed to become an almost permanent fixture in our bed. Now I'm not going to say that the arrangement is getting me much more sleep, as it is certainly poor quality sleep at best, and as I type this sentence I am concurrently brainstorming strategies to get you sleeping better in your own space, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not enjoying your warm little body lying next to me, or that it never strikes me how sweet it is to smell your milky breath each time I stir. You are my little baby, probably my last baby, and I want to savor each snuggly moment I have with you, even if it means waking up crink-necked each morning!

Three Months

Young man, you are three months old. I had completely forgotten how much three month olds totally ROCK until we somehow blinked a few too many times and found ourselves here at the three month mark. You are happy happy happy and oh so very happy to smile and coo at us whenever we've got a moment to devote to you and actually look you in the eye. Poor second child! As a condolence, though, you think Sofie is absolutely fascinating and you're only too pleased to grin away at her crazy antics. She's equally enthralled with you and reminds us often that you're her brother.

You are starting to enjoy the typical baby games, like So Big and Pat-a-Cake, and the not so typical ones, like practicing your jab on your sister, clapping and dancing around the living room with mom. You're still a huge fan of your toys, especially the bears above your changing table and Mr. Monkey. In fact, I think you talk to them almost as much as you talk to us. You've figured out that you have control over your hands, albeit very jerky control, and sometimes I find you practicing intently, holding your little fist steadily right in front of a bear's face. You are showing preference for your left hand (cool!) and have figured out how to bring both hands together, mainly for the purpose of slobbering all over them. You are still pretty interested in your thumb when you can manage to pop it into your mouth.

You are getting stronger every day and starting to enjoy tummy time for longer periods of time, especially if there's something interesting to look at. When you're on your back you crane your neck around and pull your body up onto your side. I imagine it won't be much longer before you accidentally flop yourself over.

This month I buzzed off your fuzzy little grandpa hairs, and while it was technically your first haircut there are no pictures because Daddy was oddly attached to them and refused to participate! I did, of course, pack away your peach fuzz for memory's sake. I think you look quite handsome without them, and while we're on the topic of looks, don't tell your sister, but I think you're much cuter than she was at your age!

Van Van, lately I've been working on finding a job, and since I'm hoping to be hired somewhere relatively soon we've been trying to get you familiar with a bottle. Despite our early successes you are now absolutely REFUSING that stinkin' thing. If you're in a good mood you'll patiently use your tongue to shove it out of your mouth over and over again until we grow tired of trying and leave you alone. If you're anxious to eat you just scream bloody murder. It's causing me a fair amount of anxiety, imagining how awful it might be to leave you for so long without your comfort, but it's also helping me take the rejection inherent in trying to find work in stride. How can I let anything upset me when someone like you, with your big smiley eyes, wants nothing more than to spend all your moments with me :)

Two Months

My roly poly little man, two days ago you became a two month old. Almost two weeks ago I had you in to see the pediatrician because you had spit-up quite forcefully a few times and she suggested that perhaps you were maybe overeating just a bit since you were not quite two months old yet and closing in on 14 pounds already...oy! And I thought your sister, who was nearly 12 pounds at two months old, was a chunker :)

***I must be honest and report that the rest of this post, on October 8th, consisted merely of little notes to myself and only now, on October 20th, am I finding the time to return to fill in the details!***

You started smiling a few weeks ago and that has made you much more fun to hang out with. When you're particularly happy your little nose scrunches up and wrinkles form between your eyes. You draw in your breath and squeak like some folks do after a particularly hearty bout of laughter. You like to interact with your toys, grinning, batting, and jabbering at them, especially the monkey on the mirror that reflects your face into the rear-view mirror of our van. It's always a treat to click your car seat into place and watch you greet your little friend!

One day Sofie and I were sitting on the couch goofing around and laughing about something and you were nestled in my lap. I glanced down and noticed that you were smiling away as if you were in on our little jokes, and just like that my whole perspective changed. I had been caring for you and Sofie as separate little 'ploys, juggling each of your needs throughout the day and paddling my boat between your islands trying my best to give each of you undivided attention. All of the sudden we were a team. Shortly after that incident I was alone in the evening with the two of you for the first time and trying to put Sofie down for bed. Her bedtime routine still includes nursing, and you were fussing and wanting to nurse too. I didn't want to leave one or the other of you to cry so I reluctantly decided that I was going to try some true tandem nursing. I was worried that Sofie was going to be upset about it or that you would be a ball of squirminess, unable to get comfortable within your sister's space, but instead the two of you seemed to think it was great fun. You were so focused on Sofie and she just giggled away at you and held your little hand in hers. It just reinforced the sense that we are together now, a family, and I stopped frantically paddling and docked my boat. We've been learning to live together on the mainland ever since.

***And now, embarrassingly, it is October 27th and in less than two weeks you will be three months old. How busy you've kept me! I hope to be much more punctual in the months to come...***

You've been hard at work on getting your thumb in your mouth and I often find you busily slobbering all over your hand in your futile attempts. Somehow, your hand becomes possessed by the intensity of your quest and it clenches tightly into a fist right around your little thumb. You're not a bit disheartened by it's uncooperative nature and go right on jamming your fist into your mouth and sucking away. You love to stand up and when I make the mistake of trying to sit you down on my lap for a chat you lean your little body forward and flex your legs until I get the right idea. Your little legs are so strong, it's as if you'll be walking in no time!

It's strange to me how different it already feels to be raising a little boy. I'm already torn up by the thought that someday, maybe, you'll love some other woman more than you love me. But for now, my little Moose, I'm the one who cares for you, soothes you, makes your eyes light up. For now, and for many moons to come, I am the one. There is no fortune more great.

Two Years

Punky Bru you turned two over a month ago and, dear God, you've been acting TWO for a few months now. These months since your brother was born have possibly been the most exasperating of my life, trying so hard to outwit you on such a small amount of sleep. I'm learning, slowly and reluctantly, to let go of my tendency towards structure and I consider it a pretty good day when there has been some sort of bathing, eating, and sleeping and not too much screaming :)

You are speaking pretty fluently in long sentences. A good majority of your sentences begin with a whiny, "I want..." or, "I wanna..." and lately you're throwing in a whole lot of, "No mom! My turn!" You crack me up regularly with the things you come up with, the tone you use and your assortment of facial expressions, especially the squinty-eyed inquisitive face and the brow-furrowed grimace you shoot my way now and then as if to say, "Mom, what the heck were you thinking?" I can't imagine where you picked that one up :)

You're pretty good at counting and can count from one to ten on a good day, but more often you recite, "One, two, five, six, seven, eight!" You know the A,B,C song quite well, but can only identify letters O and B on sight. I've been trying to work with you on shapes and colors too, but you get quite frustrated with both concepts, so most days we don't end up spending too much time on them.

Your motor skills are coming along nicely. You're becoming a much faster waddly little runner and both of your feet come up off the ground when you jump these days. You enjoy kicking balls around in the yard and I think you're really going to like soccer someday. You're not as interested in throwing and we're working on the whole catching thing too, since most of the time your hands come together a moment after the ball has dropped to the ground. You like to draw circles, you complete puzzles with speed, you enjoy peeling stickers off their backing and decorating the house with them, and you love to fold clothes. You're actually better at folding clothes than some adults I know!

You're quite a girly girl and you absolutely love your baby dolls and insist on bringing at least one with you every place we go. You love trying on shoes and picking out your outfit for the day. You've requested that I put hot rollers in your hair, ask for spray after I give you a hairdo, and you like to sneak into my make-up bag and know exactly how to apply each different part.

You're interested in the potty and all other bathroom behaviors and regularly take your pants and diaper off and run around all willy nilly. You like to "go potty" and will sit, wipe, and wash your hands, but you've never actually made a deposit. We haven't formally begun training because you are notoriously awful at reporting dirty diapers, preferring instead to wear them until they hang to your knees and deny their obvious need to be changed. I have intentions of working on some sort of formal, consistent training this winter when we are cloistered in the house most days. Until then, you're content to pretend.

You're great at pretending. You like making "hamburgers" out of old peanut butter and jelly containers I've rinsed and set out on a shelf for you, or having tea parties with the set the Vance's sent for your birthday. You regularly push your stroller or your shopping cart towards the door as you bid us goodbye. When I ask where you're going you choose from your repertoire of destinations, "I'm goin' uh (Target, the mall, the library, the hospital, Nana's house)."

Sofie-Sof you are working so hard on becoming independent and you've been a little ball of frustrated energy much of the time lately. Most days I'm so overwhelmingly relieved when bedtime rolls around and the house, for the most part, regains a sense of peace again. But Daddy and I start giggling over the funny things you've said and done all day almost immediately after you're tucked in tight and in next to no time we're missing the chaos, the sticky urchin grin, and determined defiance. We are, and always will be, completely enamored with you, our wonderful, terrible, two year old girl.

One Month

Little big man you turned one month old last Sunday and oh what a cyclone of a month it was. After your rapid fire birth we brought you home to a very very affectionate big sister who hugged and kissed the whole family into a pretty solid summer cold. And, as if stuffy nosed 2 AM feedings greeted by a mommy who sounded like Darth Vader weren't fun enough, your poor little body decided a UTI would be the perfect topper. You landed yourself a four day stay at the children's hospital complete with eighteen puncture wounds and three catheterizations. It was enough to throw this mommy into a bit of a tailspin which she is just now starting to catch her bearings from. Through it all you've been a little fighting trooper, surely living up to your name, a good, strong man (child!)

You are enormous. I look at you and wonder how on earth you ever fit inside my belly, how you ever could have made your way out in one piece. Your body is completely different than Sofie's with your lanky arms and long, thin fingers and toes. You inherited my hands and feet and I love them on you. Your fuzzy little noggin is covered with the softest coating of downy hair. I love to rub it while you nurse. You love to eat and you are growing so fast, already in your 3-6 month clothes. I tease that you're a boob man. When you're hungry you shake your little head and then dive in like a fish going after a worm. When you're sleepy you nurse comfortably, sighing and making little crooked half asleep smiles, and when you finally pull away you nuzzle in as if you had a pillow.

When you are calm you are incredibly focused and your body relaxes as you stare contentedly off at the object of your choice as if you are analyzing its complexities. When you are active you grumble and grunt, waggling all your appendages in quick, jerky movements with a frustrated air. You are intense.

Evander, I have a feeling I'll always remember this month as one of the most challenging months of my life and I may never reminisce fondly about the circumstances surrounding it and how they made me feel, but meeting you has filled me with awe. It's hard for me to believe that just one month ago I had never smelled your little head, a scent so uniquely your own even fresh from a bath, or felt your little hands gripping tightly to my shirt, or heard you softly breathing, sighing softly in your sleep. I will always remember this month as the month I met you, and that's more than enough to make it one of the most incredible months of my life.

Sponge's Spot 40 Weeks

There it is, my big round belly, at 40 weeks and 1 day. I was really hoping that you might've vacated by now, but I suppose I always sort of expected you to arrive past your due date just like your stubborn sister. The last couple of weeks, with the accompanying "pre-labor" symptoms have been a little rough. I've been day dreaming a lot lately about bending over with ease, rising from the couch without hanging onto the coffee table for a little support, and running and playing with your sister without feeling like you are, um, I guess I'll try and keep it sort of PC and just say falling out!

I had another prenatal appointment this morning and the first thing the midwife said to me was, "So, what are we waiting for?" to which I replied, "I don't know...you tell me!" I am still 4 centimeters dilated, very thin (I wasn't given a percentage of effacement this time) and you've come down a bit to a -1 station. The midwife was able to feel the sutures in your skull and determine that you are right occiput anterior, which, while it isn't as ideal as left occiput anterior, certainly isn't posterior which I've been worried about. So...that means that right now your back is on my right side and your head is facing my back and slightly to the left. Your back has been on my left side right up until this appointment, so you're still wiggling around and trying to find the most cozy spot for yourself in the ever increasing crampedness. My membranes were stripped today, and while there is plenty of controversy regarding how effective that is, supposedly if it's going to help us along into labor it should happen within 48 hours of the procedure. Wouldn't that be nice?! We tried it twice with your sister, to no avail, but I'm trying to stay positive. If you decide to hang out for another week I'm scheduled next Wednesday for a NST and an ultrasound to peek in on you and make sure everything is still copacetic.

Guess what kiddo? In the past week I started to question your name for the first time during this whole pregnancy and along with your Daddy, who has had some reservations all along, started trying on some other options. We still haven't made a decision, but we do have one special contender in mind, and who knows...you might end up being one of those kids who gets to say, "My name was supposed to be Grey right up until the last minute and then my parents named me BLANK instead!" Or maybe you'll say, "My parents almost changed my name to BLANK at the last minute, but then when they saw me they knew I was a Grey after all!" It's a little bit strange for me not feeling really solid about a name choice this late in the game, but I'm confident that you'll end up with a name that suits you and I'm sure you'll make it your own in no time.

I am really excited to meet you, check out all your little features, hear your voice, introduce you to your sister...just plain start the process of learning all about you. Please, oh please, (oh please oh please oh please!) don't make us wait too much longer :)

Sponge's Spot 37 Weeks

Well here we are at 37 weeks already, how time has flown by! This third trimester continues to be much better than the second, thank goodness, although I suspect your Daddy might disagree with me on that one since he's been complaining a lot about how grumpy I've been. I admit that I've been slightly frustrated and annoyed by the chaos that is usually amok on our floors since it is getting very difficult for me to bend down to pick it all up. Your sister, of course, thinks that life looks much rosier when the contents of the entire house are strewn about the floor :) Luckily, Daddy has been complaining much less lately and instead using his energy to help me out more and that has made all the difference in the world.

I have gained about 44 pounds so far which I think is such a neat coincidence because, while I feel much larger this time around, that is almost exactly what I had gained at this point in my pregnancy with Sofie. My belly seems completely different to me this time around, much more compact and harder than it was last time. I'm hoping that it's because you're not posterior like your sister was, and so it's your nice firm back pushing out against my belly instead of a chubby squishy tummy. I'm pretty sure you dropped a few weeks ago, because after about a day of adjusting to feeling like I was waddling around with a bowling ball between my legs I've been breathing much easier and have just been more comfortable overall. I've been sleeping very fitfully for quite awhile now since I have sharp pelvic pain every time I roll over and it wakes me up. I have a lot of pain when I put my pants on in the morning too, but other than that it usually doesn't bother me much during the daytime, which is nice. The last couple of weeks have brought the onset of some increased swelling, though my feet are nowhere near as rotund as they were when I was pregnant with your sister. They can get pretty bad when I'm up and on them a lot during the day, but overall they seem to retreat to near normal after a day or two.

I've been telling people that you're going to be born on the 15th...ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION IN THERE...it's only one week away. I sort of arbitrarily picked that date, probably because it's two weeks early and I think I deserve for you to be early since your sister was two weeks late. So I'm focusing all my energies (which I don't even really believe in but heck it's worth a shot, right?) on the 15th and I'm going to do my best to will you out! If you're not done, though, don't get too nervous. I don't have much of a track record with the whole will-ing thing!

As a family we have been quite feverishly enjoying all there is to enjoy about summer. We've been spending lots of time outside taking walks, playing at the playground, going to the pool, enjoying backyard play dates, visiting the zoo, cooking out, and we even took a trip to the "beach." I guess I'm trying to stuff in all of the fun activities that become a bit more difficult when there's a newborn in the house. It's just now beginning to occur to me that this whole going from three to four thing might be a bit of a bumpy transition for us all. I really hadn't thought about it much until the other day at the library when a friend asked me to hold her newborn while she changed her older daughter's diaper. It was all going quite nicely until Sofie started bringing me books to read and puzzles to do and I didn't have an extra lap for her to sit on, or any hands free to turn her pages. She adjusted just fine, sat down on the floor in front of me and turned the pages by herself, but for the first time I remembered what it was like to begin to relearn all of my daily routines and try to complete them with less hands in less time using my foggy sleep-deprived brain. Challenging, sure, but I'm always up for a good challenge, and it won't take long for me to start waking up in the morning to your sweet baby breath and just vaguely remembering what life was like before you arrived on the scene...

Sponge's Spot 31 Weeks

My "photographer" with his wacky sense of humor suggested that I post this one too. The pair of us are about the most unamused photographer/subject you'll find. I basically stand around like a bump on a log while he randomly snaps pictures with no concern for composition. So we get a lot of mid-sentence treasures like this one... Sort of looks like I'm having a contraction or something doesn't it :)

I am officially 31 weeks pregnant today. I am hovering close to +38 pounds and I was really feeling like a heifer until I went back through the archives and read that I had gained about 38.5 pounds at 32 weeks pregnant with Sofie. So, although I still feel like a heifer and my 50 pound weight-gain with Sofie is certainly not something to be striving towards, at least I'm not any heavier than I was the first time around! My body has a strange way of distributing the weight and I can only explain it by saying that I'm pretty sure my bottom half hasn't yet received the memo that I'm pregnant. This past week I was shopping for an outfit to wear for some portraits we're going to have taken soon and I bought a size medium pants but needed an XL top. Go figure...

I've been feeling pretty good these past few weeks after enduring a pretty miserable second trimester and I'm hoping that the rest of this pregnancy continues on the upswing. I know that the second trimester is supposed to be when most women feel their best, but maybe I'll get lucky and feel best in my third. So far, at least, it's been much better. In my dream world, I'd go into labor naturally two weeks before my due date (that would be a whole month less of pregnancy for me!) I suppose it's more realistic for me to assume I'll be induced 2 weeks late once again, but a girl can hope right?

A couple of weeks ago we had another ultrasound done to check on the location of my placenta. As expected it has moved up and out of the way and Mr. Grey was in perfect position for birth, head down and facing my back, so there's no good reason that I shouldn't go into labor on my own this time. We have a couple of pictures from that appointment that I'll get around to scanning in eventually, but they're not really that great. I guess it's hard to take a picture of a kid who's upside down and not looking at you :) Grey moved and jiggled and stretched out his wee legs during the ultrasound and generally made the tech work hard to get all the information she was looking for during the scan. What can I say? I make wiggly babies! This go around I've been able to really feel a lot of the finer motor movements like little arms, hands and feet pressing taut against my belly. When I was pregnant with Sofie I was confused when other pregnant women would comment indicating that they knew where their baby's bum or feet or arms were resting in their abdomen. I could really only feel gross motor type movements and hiccups with her. I have no idea why it's been different this time around.

We've been reading a lot of There's a New Baby at Your House books to Sofie lately and I would love to know what she thinks of all this pregnancy stuff. She's taken to blowing raspberries on my belly which she, of course, thinks is hilariously funny. A couple of our friends have had newborns in the recent weeks and we were able to visit one to share a meal last week. Sofie was, as always, fascinated with the baby. She couldn't get close enough and kept asking for, "My baby!" I think she thought it was like some really fancy baby doll. If you've seen her handle her baby dolls that thought is just a little frightening! I'm glad that she's so interested in babies, but hopefully the novelty will wear off relatively quickly. I can't imagine it would be very fun trying to lovingly fend off an overly doting big sister 24 hours a day long-term!

Ben has (mostly) agreed that we can name the baby just plain Grey if we use the EY spelling. I'm not really clear on why exactly that makes a difference, but I'm happy with the outcome so I'm not questioning it!

We're pretty much ready for this little guy to make his appearance. We've been steadily checking off needed items from our list and have been so fortunate to receive many wonderful hand-me-down items. I've been diligently washing and organizing baby clothes as we receive them and Sofie and Grey's room has been rearranged to accommodate them both. We really only need to collect a few stored baby items from Nana's basement (baby swing, tub, misc.) and put the co-sleeper back together. As far as I'm concerned those are things that can be done while I'm at the hospital! So kiddo...spend a few more weeks fattening yourself up in there and then come on out and join us. We're ready!

Sponge's Spot 25 (er...26, ok fine 27) weeks

Good grief that is one big belly! Thirty whole pounds of belly (or probably more accurately 20 pounds of belly, 5 pounds of thighs, 3 pounds of floppy arm flab, and 2 pounds of swelling!) Poor Baby #2 your mama is two complete weeks behind on her big ol' belly updates. But wait, I can explain, honest I can. We were in Colorado when the 25 week milestone crept up on me, and then last week, #26, your Big Sister started her vomiting tailspin and can I just say that you're pretty lucky that I'm even getting around to a post this week because we are still recovering from that nightmare!!!

You have been making me very very uncomfortable and tired and cranky for weeks. I complained at my 23 week appointment and the midwife actually said to me, "Well you are older this time around..." What?! Then she continued with, "and your muscles are all stretched out from your first pregnancy so they're not as supportive. Plus you're chasing a toddler around and can't take a nap when you're feeling exhausted." While these things are all very true, I'm going to request that my iron levels be tested at my appointment tomorrow (where I'm also scheduled for my gestational diabetes screening) because this level of general malaise just seems excessive to me, and it makes me just a bit miserable considering that I've got three more months to endure. Don't get me wrong, you're worth the suffering, but wouldn't it be nifty if there was a little less suffering :)

You are a crazy active little guy. When we had your 19 week ultrasound the tech made a remark regarding how active you were and I actually brushed her off commenting that I remember Sofie being a lot more active than you. Turns out I must've been comparing itty bitty you to big nearly full-term Sofie because as you've grown your movements have gotten stronger and stronger and sometimes you get so crazy that I worry you're trying to kick your way out, wake yourself up from a nightmare, or untangle yourself from your umbilical cord. You're especially active late at night...I hope you're not planning on continuing that once you're born!

We've been very diligent about preparing to welcome you home. All your wee little clothes are washed, sorted, and put away, and your crib (now that your sister has vacated) is made up and ready to go. There are some baby things (swing, bathtub, boppy) that need to be revived from Nana's basement, and we need to set up the co-sleeper at some point, but otherwise we're all set. Sofie has been snuggling you and trying to peek through my increasingly more shallow belly-button to get a closer look. Today we were discussing the fact that you are going to nurse. She's not so sure she likes that idea but we've got plenty of time to let the idea grow on her :) Overall we are just biding our time until we get to meet you face to face and welcome you lovingly into our little family. Can't wait!

Sponge's Spot 20 Weeks

Well little Sponge, it is hard for your mama to believe that you are already halfway done! One week ago today we had a mid-pregnancy ultrasound and found out that you are a little boy. I was, and am, so shocked and excited by that news. As much as I've always wanted to have the experience of having a son, somehow I never could quite picture myself as the mama of a little boy. Perhaps it's because of the overwhelming number of little girls in our extended family. I am looking forward to the new challenge of parenting a child of the male variety and having lots and lots of fun looking at all the baby boy clothes and accessories! Our ultrasound also showed that my placenta (your placenta) is lying a little bit low. This can cause big problems late in pregnancy, but it almost always moves up before then as the uterus expands. I'm not very concerned about it at all, but it has bought us another ultrasound around 28 weeks to check out that pesky placenta's position and to get another peek at you of course! I'm pretty excited about that.

My apprehensions about being the mom of two wee ones have pretty much settled themselves into two categories at this point. The first involves grocery shopping and subsequently unloading our groceries and somehow managing to get them up to our third floor apartment. I'm having nightmares involving two screaming banshees and grocery bills that are double our norm because the crazed mama is desperately pulling anything and everything off the shelves in an effort to get the heck out! Most likely I imagine I'll try to make a trip on the weekend and leave you kiddos with daddy. I've already stretched my weekly grocery visits (because the stinkin' produce only lasts a week darnit!) into biweekly visits in an effort to ease myself into a new routine. The second source of great anxiety involves showering each day. I do vaguely remember that this wasn't such an easy task with even just one newborn and that it just sort of fit in where (and if!) it fit in. I've grown so used to Sofie being self-sufficient for the 10 minutes that it takes me to shower that I think I've gotten spoiled! I can just envision her poking your eyeballs out or trying to pick you up by your head while I try to keep an eye on you guys (and flood half the bathroom) with the shower curtain pulled halfway open. I suppose I'll do my best to shower while you sleep. Oh please please sleep better than your sister did!

I am convinced that your name is Gray Benjamin, but your daddy's not too sure. He seems to think that it doesn't flow well and that Gray is not a full name besides, but I've vehemently vetoed Grayson and Grady and Grayling. Our conversations are sounding a lot like this lately...

Me: "Gray Benjamin sounds great...it's like J. Edgar Hoover or F. Scott Fitzgerald!"

Daddy, dryly: "But it isn't an initial."

Me: "But who cares? It acts like one, A. or J. or K!!!"

I don't really care what he thinks, though, because I am the mama and I get to write your name on the birth certificate so I win. I refer to you as Baby Gray and Sofie is practicing your name (I bet you can guess what she calls you...)

I am in the glorious in-between stage physically, although I've gained 20 pounds already and I am resigned to the fact that I will never be of the adorable, glowing pregnant lady variety. Instead I am of the awful, swollen pregnant lady variety. It's a little depressing, but what can you do? Growing a baby is a pretty monumental task and it just isn't that friendly to the poor old bod. My skin isn't breaking out ridiculously like it did with your sister (one of my clues early on that you might be a little boy) and that is a very nice change. It's nice to feel you bopping around (you were quite active during your ultrasound) and I'm looking forward to the day when daddy can feel you too. You are rooting your way into our hearts, little guy, and we can't wait to see how you'll make them grow!

Eighteen Months

Sofie you've been eighteen months old for over a week now and for a week your mama's been in a blogging rut. I've been trying to sit down and write to you, composing snippets in my head, but finding mindless distractions to keep me from actually laying it out on a page. Mostly because it feels like such an enormous task to try and capture who you are in just a few paragraphs on a blank page. Know that you are and will always be so much bigger than your mama's gleaming eyes can quite take in.

Over these past eight months that I've been home with you I've become some sort of professional parent and as a result you've become quite involved in all there is to offer a small child. Routine weekly activities include story time at the library (Mondays), music class (Tuesdays), open gym (Wednesdays), and periodic lunch dates at the mall with playtime at their indoor play area afterwards (random Thursdays). Usually there's a trip to the grocery store, Target, and a play date or two in the mix as well. You love to go and when I tell you that we're getting ready to leave you round up your shoes (or sometimes mine if yours are already on your feet) and follow me around holding them up for me and saying, "Go?!" Then you remind me that we'll need your coat and hat while you stand with your face practically touching the door until I release you to flee into the hall and around the corner onto the elevator. Often you've decided that Nona also needs to get some fresh air and you're oh so happy to push her right out the door in her stroller on the occasions when I've deemed it appropriate. Once we've made it into the car we often share this dialogue:

You: "Happy?"

Me: "No...we're not going to music class today!"

You: "Nicky?"

Me: "No...we're not going to see Nicky today!"

These are by far your most frequent requests. You've become rather shy upon joining a crowd, even in spaces you've been many times before. You tend to cling to me for ten or fifteen minutes until you've got your bearings and then you join in happily, still checking in with me from time to time. It's quite a change from the little hammy socialite you were as a wee one. You're still quite pleased when you've attracted someone else's attention and you're a very good flirt, peeking coyly around me with a great big grin on your face. You also love to join in when others are laughing, often without having any idea what they're even laughing about.

You're a tender little girl and you often settle in for a snuggle and a few back pats. You're very fond of your daddy and he is happy to solicit kisses (regular, butterfly, or Eskimo...pick your poison) from you every night before bed and every morning before he leaves for work. You always greet him on his arrival home from work with complete glee. You are crushed when you think he is being even remotely gruff and you melt into tears (the other day a particularly hearty sneeze solicited this response!) You are his little girl and he is wrapped around your chubby little finger.

You love to climb and you've been honing your skills regularly since we got our new kitchen table. You like to climb up into your booster seat via your chair or perhaps the chair next to it. Mama watches at the edge of her seat as you straddle the two. You know that you're not supposed to climb up onto the table, but that makes it all the more fun right? You sneak up when I'm not paying attention and then crouch down onto your bent knees with your torso folded over your legs with a grin on your face until I discover you there. Then you giggle heartily at my expense as I once again plop you back down on the ground. Daddy cut the legs short on our old table and you have two little chairs that match. I had to put them up because you were following me around the kitchen as I prepared dinner "helping" me mix things up and getting things out of the drawers for me and just generally making me very nervous, especially when there were lots of hot pans on the stove. Hopefully, we'll be able to get the chairs down again some time soon, when you have a better understanding of just how dangerous a task dinner can be! I'm looking forward to warm summer days at the playground where you can climb 'til your heart is content. We were out at one recently on an unseasonably warm day and you just had so much fun climbing up, up, up and then back down again, over and over and over again.

Your language skills are coming along although mama is quietly somewhat concerned about your inconsistent pronunciation at times. You will attempt to repeat almost any word, though you'll only repeat the last one if a string of words is presented to you. You run around all day saying things like, "That's daddy." and "Here's shoes!" and "This milk." and "There's duck!" I've never heard another kid phrase things quite like that. You like to help us read your favorite books and you know your parts well. In, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" you're responsible for mouse, cookie and milk. In, "Goodnight Moon" it's mush and hush. You're also very fond of the CD and songbook from The Music Class. We listen to the CD when we're in the car and I'm always tickled when I hear you singing along from the back. I'm amazed at the things that you remember. Communicating with you is so much fun and I can't wait to hear more and more as you grow bigger.

You've just started to get a little bit finicky about what you will and won't eat. If you don't like something we've given you, you just open your mouth and let it fall right back out. Most of the time it tends to be something green or something that has been mixed with something green. I'm starting to get a little creative with the vegetables and I'm very grateful that you still think that the green juice ice cubes that nana makes for you, chock full of good for you green stuff like parsley and spinach, are a special treat. I try to remember to give one to you every day. You're a big fan of fruit and cheese and yogurt and you'd be pretty happy if I served them to you for every meal. You are still nursing a couple of times a day. You've been through a few dry spells, usually when your teeth are bothering you or your nose is stuffed up, and I've wondered a couple of times if you were done, but you always find your way back and ask to nurse again. I considered weaning you, but your nursing is so unobtrusive these days that I'm content to let you work that out on your own. It should be interesting to see how you feel about sharing if you're still nursing when your baby brother makes his appearance!

Sofie, you are just a little ray of light in our lives. Each day you challenge me, make me laugh from deep down in my belly, and make me want to be present and alive in every moment. Each night I lay you down in bed, give your glo-worm a squeeze and cover you up. I kiss my hand three times, touching it once each to your left cheek, forehead, and then your right cheek. Then I kiss my finger and rub your little button nose and tell you that I love you. I've never meant anything more deeply in all my life.

Sponge's Spot 15 Weeks

I have been so neglectful of the documentation of this pregnancy and it has been one of the things I was most concerned about when thinking about getting pregnant again...the dreaded second child syndrome!! Perhaps you've noticed that I stopped writing Sofie's monthly updates when she turned one-year old and it was with this exact thought in mind. I didn't want to set a precedent that I couldn't continue for baby number two (and who knows, maybe three or four...) I didn't realize that I would have such a hard time even mirroring what I wrote for Sofie!

This pregnancy has been so different for me. It is not constantly present in the forefront of my mind. I am not obsessively reading about which little part might be developing at this very moment. I did all that the first time around and I know what to expect. This time my thoughts are more consumed with practical things like finding the most convenient double stroller, teaching Sofie to change her own diaper ;) and trying to figure out exactly how parents with two young children handle things like grocery shopping. And if you are the parent of two young children you're probably very aware of my mind frame right now, because chances are I've stopped you on the street to pick your brain a little bit!

I've gained about nine pounds so far, which is not so far from the twelve I had gained with Sofie by 16 weeks (especially since there were about three still hanging around as a souvenir from her debut). Physically I'm in that awful in-between stage where my fat pants are getting tight but maternity clothes are sort of ridiculous and require me to pull my pants up repeatedly throughout the day. I've been wearing the same pair of jeans and rotating three or four comfy long sleeved t-shirts for awhile now, although who am I kidding, that's not that different from the norm!

My stomach has been nice and settled for a couple of weeks and I'm starting to regain some energy. It's too bad because we've spent a lot of time cooped up and snowed in recently. I haven't been sleeping too well at night which is a new experience for me. I fall asleep alright, but then typically I'll wake up in the wee hours (between 2 and 4) and toss and turn until morning. I can't wait for Valentine's Day to come and go because I have been craving Starburst jelly beans since Christmas time. I foresee the consumption of several bags over the next few weeks!

There have been a few occasions when I thought I might be feeling some movement, but I've been pretty cautious about declaring them since I had that odd non-pregnant feeling of movement this summer. I guess I'm chalking up most of the feelings to tummy gurgles and muscle spasms until they are undeniable!

Overall, I am feeling very low-key about this pregnancy. For every time I think, "Oh my goodness how am I ever going to get out of the house with two babies!" I have several daydreams of how neat it will be to see my children playing together and all of the fun adventures we have in store for us. I also have the knowledge and experience this time around to know that no matter how much I do or do not worry about things the chips all seem to fall right into place when the time comes. And that is priceless!

One Year Old

My big Worm you are one year old. You have weathered all four seasons, experienced every holiday, and brightened 365 days with your sunny personality. I am so proud to be the mama of a one year old girl...I am so proud of you!

You are really starting to grow into yourself and beginning to display your independence. We've just begun to experience your first wiggling, body-flailing bouts of defiance when you are not so pleased with our choices for you. It's a challenge, for sure, but secretly I'm so excited to see you begin to show your own preferences for things. I'm hopeful that I can be skilled enough to nurture your independent spirit while setting appropriate boundaries for you. What an exciting challenge!

You're quite a bruiser and I'm beginning think that the scrapes on your knees are a permanent fixture! You don't seem to be afraid to tackle physical challenges (now the vacuum cleaner...that's a different story!) and you dive headfirst into each new task. Recently, you've become quite proud of your ability to get yourself into your little Sofie-sized rocking chair. You're not quite tall enough to back into it, so instead you climb up onto it. Then you find yourself sitting backwards, so you carefully swivel your legs around to the front, and after you've squirmed yourself into a position you're happy with you rock rock rock yourself with a big grin across your face. You've knocked the chair and yourself over plenty of times in your pursuit but it hasn't discouraged you much at all. You're even beginning to work on balancing yourself standing on top of it while mama grits her teeth nearby and let's you feel out your limits on your own! This month you also tried out the sliding board on your own and you pretty much think that's the best invention in the world. It elicits hearty belly laughs each time...from you and from us too!

New vocabulary this month includes "Wow! Doo! (shoe) Nana, Nona (your baby doll), Uh Oh! Tickle tickle, and Oof, Oof (Woof Woof)" You're pretty convinced that every animal says, "Woof Woof!" The geese that you loved listening for all through last winter have returned. This morning we had a brief run-in with them as we were leaving the house, you crying out "Oof oof! Oof oof!" all the way! You also sort of modify your Woof to attempt a monkey sound "Oo oo!" Your gestures have increased this month as well. You know the signs for eat and for finished. You've started pointing at things, although your point is somewhat haphazard and it's often difficult to figure out what you're interested in. You like to point your pointer finger right up nose to nose with mine and giggle. You pat the ground when I pull out a new diaper for you...a mimicry of my gesture for, "Hey you crazy woman, get your bottom over here and plop it on this diaper right now!"

I'm pleased to announce that you absolutely love your birthday baby doll, Baby Nona. You pretty much drag her around everywhere with you (and she's got the banged up dirty face to prove it!) You like to put her in her cradle for a little rocking, then pull her back out again, over and over and over. You like to push her around in her baby stroller (sometimes while she sits, quite acrobatically, on her head!) You like to un-velcro her clothes and feed her a bottle (with intermittent breaks to taste what's in there for yourself!) Most nights we put Baby Nona to bed in her cradle. In the morning, after we settle a bit into our routine, I say to you, "Sofie, where's baby Nona? Is she still sleeping? Go wake her up!" You diligently waddle into the bedroom where you shuffle around awhile and then emerge, ever the proud mama, beamingly clutching your baby.

You're quite a little charmer and you consistently have strangers fawning over you. One morning we were at the library, and as I spent a few minutes on one of the computers, you made your rounds flirting with all the other computer-patrons. As we got up to leave, a man with kind eyes remarked, "I think she's going to be a politician!" You're happy to introduce yourself to pretty much anyone and you love to be the center of attention. This morning after story-time ended you were thoroughly enjoying some kiddy music that was playing on a CD and you must have felt that it was just the right time to do an impromptu interpretive dance. You bopped and swayed, swinging your arms from side to side, and twirled in circles as we all admired you. You had me laughing so hard that tears streamed down my face...and that is what you've blessed me with most this year...lots of uninhibited laughter. Laughter and joy, pure unadulterated joy. May you always have a glimmer in your eye, my one year old girl. You will always put one in mine!

Eleven Months

Oh madam what a month this has been! The first full month since your very first month that I have had the privilege of providing all of your care. It has been delightful to meet you again from this new perspective and I am honored to say that I am quite proud of the little girl you are becoming.

You began this month on the verge of walking, then took your first tentative steps, gained confidence and triumphed over longer distances, learned to pause and balance yourself if you needed to, figured out how to turn, and finally, just recently, you've mastered the last step that bumps you from part-time crawler status to full-time walker status, you learned how to stand up without the help of a prop to pull up on. Phew! As much as it feels like you've progressed through these phases overnight in truth I watched you practice over and over again so diligently every single day. It reminds me to stop and take a moment to stand in awe of the breadth of developmental challenges you are facing and tackling head-on each and every day. What a determined little creature you are. Truly amazing!

Your communication skills have undergone a similar explosion. I have distinguished eight words you use appropriately (Hi, Eye, Yuck, Yes, Hot, Bye-Bye, No, Heh?) and I'm growing more convinced each day that you are attempting a garbled Thank You and Did It! as well. You are also learning a few key signs and frequently use the signs for milk and more. You continue to be a nursery rhyme enthusiast and you know that I will begin to recite Patty Cake or Itsy Bitsy Spider if you start doing the hand motions and usually "request" that I repeat them several times!

You have become quite independent and you play on your own for much of the day. You can spend a solid fifteen minutes pulling the books off of your bookshelf and flipping through the pages. Once in awhile you'll bring one to me and we'll read it together. You've learned how to put things away and you find it quite interesting to put your toys away and then pull them right back out. Your toys, however, don't impress you very much. You're much more interested in the world around you. Some of your favorite discoveries this month have included peeling the skins off the onions, pulling wipe after wipe after wipe out of the container, disassembling daddy's wallet, and removing his socks and underpants from their drawers.

Sofia, I tend to create lofty expectations for myself and my thoughts on motherhood are no exception. I am sometimes disappointed by my failure to maintain the quality of mothering that I want you to experience on a daily basis. While there are certainly areas that could stand some improvement I want to admit that I'm very proud of many of my mothering instincts. Most of all I'm quite proud that I often ignore the little voice in my head that says, "You shouldn't let her do that!" This month you practiced blowing out matches, proudly brushed your own teeth after a preliminary sweep, and gleefully splashed water out of the bathtub. Today we walked outside, you toddling near me but on your own, and you stopped sporadically to pick up rocks and leaves (your little knees are perpetually filthy!) You found a bit of a wrapper from a sucker lying on the ground and it was quite clear that you had found yourself a treasure. That little bit got away from you several times but each time you stopped to pick it up and continued on. Perhaps I should have taken that piece of trash away from you, but instead it accompanied us home, even found its way into the bathtub with you for a swim. I'm so proud of that Sofie, my ability to allow you to see treasures where I see trash, to separate your experiences from my own and to be delighted by you, not when you choose what I would have chosen, but when I see your eyes light up. As long as you chase fervently after your passions you can never ever disappoint me. I love you!

Ten Months

Beanie you are ten months old today and your nickname is morphing from Bean to Beansprout to plain old Sprout. This month has been quite a blur for me as I have spent most of it in complete shock that I was indeed quite close to the end of this long road called education. We both haven't been at our best this month...me because I've never done this thing called change too gracefully and you because your mouth finally decided it was about time for some teeth! Your two bottom teeth have both broken through, first the left one about a week and a half ago and then the right one just this week. I guess I'll have to return all that denture cream I've been stocking up on!

You are getting more and more agile on your feet and we are expecting your first steps any day now. You will stand unassisted for quite awhile but when we try to coax you to walk you just dive into our arms. I think you learned that from your walking toys since you get them going by first leaning forward and only after moving your feet. Your feet are so funny. They look far too small to hold up your body but you're proving every single day that looks can be deceiving!

You are delighting in interacting with others and copying behaviors this month. You have mastered the word "hi!" and you grin whenever you hear someone say it. You are terribly proud to carry on this quite complex conversation of "Hi!" "Hi" "Hi!" "Hi" with anyone who is willing to exchange it with you and you usually carry on like this for three or four greetings at a time. Just recently Great Grandma Caporali taught you how to shake your head side to side as if you are saying no and you think that this is also quite a delightful game to play as we shake our head no and then you shake yours.

My grown up Beansprout I have such fun plans for the month to come and I'm very anxious to get to know you better as we begin to spend the time together that a mama and her baby should. I am so very proud of you...and of myself...for making it to this point with only minor bumps along the way. You are my proudest accomplishment of all....

-Dr. Mama