One Month

Little big man you turned one month old last Sunday and oh what a cyclone of a month it was. After your rapid fire birth we brought you home to a very very affectionate big sister who hugged and kissed the whole family into a pretty solid summer cold. And, as if stuffy nosed 2 AM feedings greeted by a mommy who sounded like Darth Vader weren't fun enough, your poor little body decided a UTI would be the perfect topper. You landed yourself a four day stay at the children's hospital complete with eighteen puncture wounds and three catheterizations. It was enough to throw this mommy into a bit of a tailspin which she is just now starting to catch her bearings from. Through it all you've been a little fighting trooper, surely living up to your name, a good, strong man (child!)

You are enormous. I look at you and wonder how on earth you ever fit inside my belly, how you ever could have made your way out in one piece. Your body is completely different than Sofie's with your lanky arms and long, thin fingers and toes. You inherited my hands and feet and I love them on you. Your fuzzy little noggin is covered with the softest coating of downy hair. I love to rub it while you nurse. You love to eat and you are growing so fast, already in your 3-6 month clothes. I tease that you're a boob man. When you're hungry you shake your little head and then dive in like a fish going after a worm. When you're sleepy you nurse comfortably, sighing and making little crooked half asleep smiles, and when you finally pull away you nuzzle in as if you had a pillow.

When you are calm you are incredibly focused and your body relaxes as you stare contentedly off at the object of your choice as if you are analyzing its complexities. When you are active you grumble and grunt, waggling all your appendages in quick, jerky movements with a frustrated air. You are intense.

Evander, I have a feeling I'll always remember this month as one of the most challenging months of my life and I may never reminisce fondly about the circumstances surrounding it and how they made me feel, but meeting you has filled me with awe. It's hard for me to believe that just one month ago I had never smelled your little head, a scent so uniquely your own even fresh from a bath, or felt your little hands gripping tightly to my shirt, or heard you softly breathing, sighing softly in your sleep. I will always remember this month as the month I met you, and that's more than enough to make it one of the most incredible months of my life.