Eighteen Months

Sofie you've been eighteen months old for over a week now and for a week your mama's been in a blogging rut. I've been trying to sit down and write to you, composing snippets in my head, but finding mindless distractions to keep me from actually laying it out on a page. Mostly because it feels like such an enormous task to try and capture who you are in just a few paragraphs on a blank page. Know that you are and will always be so much bigger than your mama's gleaming eyes can quite take in.

Over these past eight months that I've been home with you I've become some sort of professional parent and as a result you've become quite involved in all there is to offer a small child. Routine weekly activities include story time at the library (Mondays), music class (Tuesdays), open gym (Wednesdays), and periodic lunch dates at the mall with playtime at their indoor play area afterwards (random Thursdays). Usually there's a trip to the grocery store, Target, and a play date or two in the mix as well. You love to go and when I tell you that we're getting ready to leave you round up your shoes (or sometimes mine if yours are already on your feet) and follow me around holding them up for me and saying, "Go?!" Then you remind me that we'll need your coat and hat while you stand with your face practically touching the door until I release you to flee into the hall and around the corner onto the elevator. Often you've decided that Nona also needs to get some fresh air and you're oh so happy to push her right out the door in her stroller on the occasions when I've deemed it appropriate. Once we've made it into the car we often share this dialogue:

You: "Happy?"

Me: "No...we're not going to music class today!"

You: "Nicky?"

Me: "No...we're not going to see Nicky today!"

These are by far your most frequent requests. You've become rather shy upon joining a crowd, even in spaces you've been many times before. You tend to cling to me for ten or fifteen minutes until you've got your bearings and then you join in happily, still checking in with me from time to time. It's quite a change from the little hammy socialite you were as a wee one. You're still quite pleased when you've attracted someone else's attention and you're a very good flirt, peeking coyly around me with a great big grin on your face. You also love to join in when others are laughing, often without having any idea what they're even laughing about.

You're a tender little girl and you often settle in for a snuggle and a few back pats. You're very fond of your daddy and he is happy to solicit kisses (regular, butterfly, or Eskimo...pick your poison) from you every night before bed and every morning before he leaves for work. You always greet him on his arrival home from work with complete glee. You are crushed when you think he is being even remotely gruff and you melt into tears (the other day a particularly hearty sneeze solicited this response!) You are his little girl and he is wrapped around your chubby little finger.

You love to climb and you've been honing your skills regularly since we got our new kitchen table. You like to climb up into your booster seat via your chair or perhaps the chair next to it. Mama watches at the edge of her seat as you straddle the two. You know that you're not supposed to climb up onto the table, but that makes it all the more fun right? You sneak up when I'm not paying attention and then crouch down onto your bent knees with your torso folded over your legs with a grin on your face until I discover you there. Then you giggle heartily at my expense as I once again plop you back down on the ground. Daddy cut the legs short on our old table and you have two little chairs that match. I had to put them up because you were following me around the kitchen as I prepared dinner "helping" me mix things up and getting things out of the drawers for me and just generally making me very nervous, especially when there were lots of hot pans on the stove. Hopefully, we'll be able to get the chairs down again some time soon, when you have a better understanding of just how dangerous a task dinner can be! I'm looking forward to warm summer days at the playground where you can climb 'til your heart is content. We were out at one recently on an unseasonably warm day and you just had so much fun climbing up, up, up and then back down again, over and over and over again.

Your language skills are coming along although mama is quietly somewhat concerned about your inconsistent pronunciation at times. You will attempt to repeat almost any word, though you'll only repeat the last one if a string of words is presented to you. You run around all day saying things like, "That's daddy." and "Here's shoes!" and "This milk." and "There's duck!" I've never heard another kid phrase things quite like that. You like to help us read your favorite books and you know your parts well. In, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" you're responsible for mouse, cookie and milk. In, "Goodnight Moon" it's mush and hush. You're also very fond of the CD and songbook from The Music Class. We listen to the CD when we're in the car and I'm always tickled when I hear you singing along from the back. I'm amazed at the things that you remember. Communicating with you is so much fun and I can't wait to hear more and more as you grow bigger.

You've just started to get a little bit finicky about what you will and won't eat. If you don't like something we've given you, you just open your mouth and let it fall right back out. Most of the time it tends to be something green or something that has been mixed with something green. I'm starting to get a little creative with the vegetables and I'm very grateful that you still think that the green juice ice cubes that nana makes for you, chock full of good for you green stuff like parsley and spinach, are a special treat. I try to remember to give one to you every day. You're a big fan of fruit and cheese and yogurt and you'd be pretty happy if I served them to you for every meal. You are still nursing a couple of times a day. You've been through a few dry spells, usually when your teeth are bothering you or your nose is stuffed up, and I've wondered a couple of times if you were done, but you always find your way back and ask to nurse again. I considered weaning you, but your nursing is so unobtrusive these days that I'm content to let you work that out on your own. It should be interesting to see how you feel about sharing if you're still nursing when your baby brother makes his appearance!

Sofie, you are just a little ray of light in our lives. Each day you challenge me, make me laugh from deep down in my belly, and make me want to be present and alive in every moment. Each night I lay you down in bed, give your glo-worm a squeeze and cover you up. I kiss my hand three times, touching it once each to your left cheek, forehead, and then your right cheek. Then I kiss my finger and rub your little button nose and tell you that I love you. I've never meant anything more deeply in all my life.