Eleven Months

Oh madam what a month this has been! The first full month since your very first month that I have had the privilege of providing all of your care. It has been delightful to meet you again from this new perspective and I am honored to say that I am quite proud of the little girl you are becoming.

You began this month on the verge of walking, then took your first tentative steps, gained confidence and triumphed over longer distances, learned to pause and balance yourself if you needed to, figured out how to turn, and finally, just recently, you've mastered the last step that bumps you from part-time crawler status to full-time walker status, you learned how to stand up without the help of a prop to pull up on. Phew! As much as it feels like you've progressed through these phases overnight in truth I watched you practice over and over again so diligently every single day. It reminds me to stop and take a moment to stand in awe of the breadth of developmental challenges you are facing and tackling head-on each and every day. What a determined little creature you are. Truly amazing!

Your communication skills have undergone a similar explosion. I have distinguished eight words you use appropriately (Hi, Eye, Yuck, Yes, Hot, Bye-Bye, No, Heh?) and I'm growing more convinced each day that you are attempting a garbled Thank You and Did It! as well. You are also learning a few key signs and frequently use the signs for milk and more. You continue to be a nursery rhyme enthusiast and you know that I will begin to recite Patty Cake or Itsy Bitsy Spider if you start doing the hand motions and usually "request" that I repeat them several times!

You have become quite independent and you play on your own for much of the day. You can spend a solid fifteen minutes pulling the books off of your bookshelf and flipping through the pages. Once in awhile you'll bring one to me and we'll read it together. You've learned how to put things away and you find it quite interesting to put your toys away and then pull them right back out. Your toys, however, don't impress you very much. You're much more interested in the world around you. Some of your favorite discoveries this month have included peeling the skins off the onions, pulling wipe after wipe after wipe out of the container, disassembling daddy's wallet, and removing his socks and underpants from their drawers.

Sofia, I tend to create lofty expectations for myself and my thoughts on motherhood are no exception. I am sometimes disappointed by my failure to maintain the quality of mothering that I want you to experience on a daily basis. While there are certainly areas that could stand some improvement I want to admit that I'm very proud of many of my mothering instincts. Most of all I'm quite proud that I often ignore the little voice in my head that says, "You shouldn't let her do that!" This month you practiced blowing out matches, proudly brushed your own teeth after a preliminary sweep, and gleefully splashed water out of the bathtub. Today we walked outside, you toddling near me but on your own, and you stopped sporadically to pick up rocks and leaves (your little knees are perpetually filthy!) You found a bit of a wrapper from a sucker lying on the ground and it was quite clear that you had found yourself a treasure. That little bit got away from you several times but each time you stopped to pick it up and continued on. Perhaps I should have taken that piece of trash away from you, but instead it accompanied us home, even found its way into the bathtub with you for a swim. I'm so proud of that Sofie, my ability to allow you to see treasures where I see trash, to separate your experiences from my own and to be delighted by you, not when you choose what I would have chosen, but when I see your eyes light up. As long as you chase fervently after your passions you can never ever disappoint me. I love you!