Sofie McGee you are nine months old. That means that you've been hanging out in this great big world for nearly as long as I had you all to myself in my great big belly. This month your development has taken a giant leap forward. So much so that its difficult for me to recall all of the new tricks you've learned. You are crawling, climbing, cruising, letting go and standing for a few seconds by yourself. You are clapping, waving, and giving high-fives on request. You know where mama's nose is, how to turn the pages of your favorite book, and you can't resist that bright red button that shuts off the power supply to the computer. Quite simply, you are amazing!
You are such a social child. I find it rather intriguing because its no secret that your daddy and I are quite introverted. I'm embarrassed to say that sometimes I find social activities to be physically exhausting. I HATE talking on the phone and I often need time to psyche myself up before I feel ready to spend time with friends. But you, little Worm, are so interested in interacting with people. This week at gym class you were dubbed, "the entertainment." You love to check out other babies (your favorite one is still that cute chick in the mirror) and you usually show your affection by ambling up to them and shoving your hand in their face or pulling their hair (we are practicing our nice touches). You will do almost anything to get someone to laugh at you, and if it worked once you better believe you're going to try it again and again and again.
You are really into inspecting things this month. You'll spend minutes intrigued by a tiny string you've found on the carpet and figuring out how to pinch it and pick it up. Your stubby little index finger has been busy poking buttons and wiggling into holes. You're interested in the smallest things. Even mama's freckles have been the object of your index finger's curiosities!
You love to eat and you are quite the little beggar girl. You are quick as lightning to the side of anyone who might be willing to share something tasty with you. You're quite interested in grown-up food and continue to tolerate spicy and sour treats without batting an eye. I'm pretty convinced that you'll never grow teeth. Perhaps you'll go down in the record book as the youngest person ever to require dentures!
Beanie, you are such a treasure, but I find myself overwhelmed with the weightiness of parenting you more and more as you grow. You deserve to have a positive mama who knows how to encourage your development and reward your accomplishments. A mama who has your well-being at the center of her world. I am too often distracted by "life" to give you one-hundred percent. I have been counting down the days until I can stop working so hard (just 20 more!) so diligently, but as the end draws nearer it is starting to occur to me that I might never feel like I have enough to give. That no matter how much time I have to spend with you I might always feel like you deserve much much more. That perhaps, just maybe, these feelings are all a part of having the most important job ever. Perhaps no one ever feels quite qualified enough for the job of being someones mama.
You are such a social child. I find it rather intriguing because its no secret that your daddy and I are quite introverted. I'm embarrassed to say that sometimes I find social activities to be physically exhausting. I HATE talking on the phone and I often need time to psyche myself up before I feel ready to spend time with friends. But you, little Worm, are so interested in interacting with people. This week at gym class you were dubbed, "the entertainment." You love to check out other babies (your favorite one is still that cute chick in the mirror) and you usually show your affection by ambling up to them and shoving your hand in their face or pulling their hair (we are practicing our nice touches). You will do almost anything to get someone to laugh at you, and if it worked once you better believe you're going to try it again and again and again.
You are really into inspecting things this month. You'll spend minutes intrigued by a tiny string you've found on the carpet and figuring out how to pinch it and pick it up. Your stubby little index finger has been busy poking buttons and wiggling into holes. You're interested in the smallest things. Even mama's freckles have been the object of your index finger's curiosities!
You love to eat and you are quite the little beggar girl. You are quick as lightning to the side of anyone who might be willing to share something tasty with you. You're quite interested in grown-up food and continue to tolerate spicy and sour treats without batting an eye. I'm pretty convinced that you'll never grow teeth. Perhaps you'll go down in the record book as the youngest person ever to require dentures!
Beanie, you are such a treasure, but I find myself overwhelmed with the weightiness of parenting you more and more as you grow. You deserve to have a positive mama who knows how to encourage your development and reward your accomplishments. A mama who has your well-being at the center of her world. I am too often distracted by "life" to give you one-hundred percent. I have been counting down the days until I can stop working so hard (just 20 more!) so diligently, but as the end draws nearer it is starting to occur to me that I might never feel like I have enough to give. That no matter how much time I have to spend with you I might always feel like you deserve much much more. That perhaps, just maybe, these feelings are all a part of having the most important job ever. Perhaps no one ever feels quite qualified enough for the job of being someones mama.
Sammers, you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. Once you're finished with work and school and all that jazz, you'll likely still feel like there isn't enough of you. I think it's that particular parenting instinct that gives us the drive to be ever changing as parents. Never satisfied and always needing to give more. Other wise we would grow stagnant as parents and our little ones wouldn't get all the experiences they so desperately crave and deserve.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mother. As crazy as this may sound, you are the one who will remember this time in her life. Sofie will only remember the times to come. So try not to be too hard on yourself. You truly love and care for her, and as she grows *that* is what she will remember. *hugs*