Labor

So...our last ditch effort to start labor semi-naturally wasn't successful. After having my membranes stripped again, Ben and I headed out to the MetroParks and walked (waddled) for a good hour. Then we headed to Aladdin's for a spicy mediterranean "last date" and afterwards walked over to Mary Coyle for some ice cream. I had intentions of going back to the MetroParks for another round, but given the state of our super-stuffed stomachs, we decided to head home and rest instead. I thought I was having some small contractions, and I spent a little too much wishful energy keeping track of them. They were coming anywhere between 8 and 12 minutes apart, but never really firmed into a pattern or increased in intensity. We went for a "magical" walk around our apartment complex around midnight. Ben thought he heard something or someone following us, and we were astonished to see four deer standing in the yard. We shuffled home quickly watching over our shoulders to make sure they weren't following us! Ben and I tried to go to bed, but it was like trying to sleep on Christmas Eve when you're seven years old. I don't think either of us slept more than four hours.

Tuesday morning came early, but I was anxious and excited and popped right out of bed. I peeked out the window to see if I could view the eclipse, but dawn was already arriving and I couldn't really see anything. Ben was harder to coax awake. After several anxious pokes, and "We're going to be late's!" he finally got moving. We left for the hospital around 7:15 AM. On our way to the hospital we hit a major traffic jam due to a truck fire. Part of the highway was closed and all of the exits were backed up. I called the hospital and let them know we were on our way, but would be late. After lots of maneuvering and interesting route changes we arrived at the hospital around 9 AM, a full hour after we were scheduled to be there.

Our nurse (Tracey? I can't remember!!) was ready and waiting for us. She asked if we'd like to have the room with the birthing tub, and although I had no intentions of using it, I decided that if no one else wanted to have it, we might as well have the option (and it turned out to be really fabulous!) We spent a bit of time on paperwork, and we told her that I'd really like to have my water broken rather than starting pitocin. I had been told previously that they wouldn't do it because my strep B test was positive, and going too long with broken water would increase the risk of infection for the baby, but I figured I was receiving IV antibiotics and if it didn't work they could always go ahead with the pitocin. So, she called the midwife, Alice, and let her know we were ready to begin. When Alice arrived, she said she would be willing to break my water on the condition that if labor didn't start within a short period of time we would go ahead with the pitocin. I agreed and asked her for two hours. She broke my water (I was surprised by how warm it was!) at 10:25 AM, and left me to begin my labor while she checked on a couple other patients.

Ben and I spent our time walking around the hospital and visiting a little bit with mom, grams, and Gina who had all arrived to spend the day in the waiting room. Contractions started almost immediately, and we were taking breaks to relax through contractions as we walked outside the hospital and around the lobby while women gave me knowing glances as they passed. Before long, we headed back into our delivery room where it was calmer and easier to relax. My contractions were coming regularly and they were uncomfortable, but I was doing pretty well at staying on top of them. When Alice returned, she let us know that she didn't think we'd need to go ahead with the pitocin since labor seemed to have started well enough on it's own. I was thrilled! I labored for a bit longer, trying out some different positions and doing my best to stay relaxed, before she checked me around 1:30 PM and let me know that I was dilated to 5 cm. It was good progress and it was nice to hear. I was doing it!

At this point my memory gets a little fuzzy, labor started to get more intense and demand more of my attention, and my concept of time got lost completely. I spent some time on a birthing ball and then someone suggested I try the tub. They filled it up and I got in for about an hour. The warm water felt really good and I found it easier to relax and change positions in the tub. When I got out they checked me again and I was 7-8 cm. dilated. Good progress! I was extremely uncomfortable laboring on the bed for awhile, and at some point I discovered that if I pushed just a little during my contractions it was easier to get through them. I told Alice that it was more comfortable if I pushed a little, and she decided to check me again. I think it was probably only an hour or so since the last time she checked, but I guess because I had a slight urge to push she must've expected that I had made some progress. Since transition is typically a very short period of labor, I can understand why she wanted to check again. Unfortunately, when she checked I was still at 8 cm. She said she could feel a lip of cervix and she wanted to see if she could move it if I tried to push. So she had me try to push through my next contraction. What a mistake! It was extremely painful, and she wasn't able to accomplish what she hoped to.

At that point I decided to try getting into the shower. Alice took the nozzle down and sprayed the warm water on my belly while I had a contraction. I asked her to let Ben do it, and we spent about half an hour in the shower. By this point I was really getting out of control, screaming like a banshee through my contractions (I wonder how many mom's in early labor I scared to death!) and I was really feeling ready to give up. After awhile the build-up of steam made me feel like I couldn't breathe, so I got out and spent some time on the birthing ball. My contractions were beginning to space out and I was really losing control. Around this time (7:00 PM) there was a shift change and we got a new nurse, Rebecca. Before the first nurse left I heard her and Alice talking about how they thought I needed a little pitocin. Not long after that Alice began to suggest that we needed to kick my labor back into gear, and it was time to consider some pitocin. I was so scared of pitocin induced contractions, the natural ones were unbearable enough and I couldn't imagine how bad they'd be with pitocin. I put off making a decision for a bit. Ben and I got back into the shower for awhile, but my labor was stalling. I was only having a contraction about once every ten minutes or so. When I got out again it was time to make a decision. My ability to cope at that point was pretty gone, and I was feeling desperate and ready to give up. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I even asked for a c-section! I was so afraid of the pitocin, and didn't think I could handle the pain anymore, but we had spent so much time preparing to have a natural birth and I didn't want to have an epidural either. I remember feeling like Ben would be really disappointed. After a bit longer hemming and hawing over what to do I decided I just didn't want to be in that kind of pain anymore, and I didn't think that I would tolerate the pitocin well without some pain relief. Ben didn't put up much of a fight, and we asked to have the epidural.

Less than half an hour later, probably around 8:00 PM, the anesthesiologist was completing the procedure and by 8:15 PM I wasn't feeling contractions at all. It was complete heaven. I joked with Ben that next time we have a baby we're just going to have the epidural immediately and sit around watching movies until it's time to push! It felt so good to finally relax in a bed of warm blankets and let my body rest a little bit. My contractions started to pick back up a little bit on their own, and for awhile I thought that it was my fear of the pain that had slowed my labor down, and perhaps I wouldn't need to have any pitocin after all. Heidi called the hospital to check on me and they put her through to my room and I gave her an update. Mom and grams came back to the labor room for a quick visit. Then Ben and I spent a little bit of time trying to catch some sleep. My contractions petered out again and they decided to go ahead and give me some pitocin. They turned the pitocin up three times before my contractions became strong and regular. I was concerned about the pitocin causing contractions that would stress Sofie, but her little heartbeat stayed perfect through it all. When they checked me again I was 9 cm. dilated, but now there was no lip of cervix, and Alice suggested that I try to push again to see if Sofie would move down. It was about 10:20 PM.

I had absolutely no feeling or indication that it was time to push, but Alice coached me really well and I was able to push pretty effectively. That first push did move Sofie down, and so we decided to go ahead and continue. Ben and Rebecca held my legs and Alice stood at the foot of the bed. I pushed holding onto my legs, the handles on the bed, a sheet that Alice pulled against, and even tried squatting for a few minutes. I had a mirror during the whole process and it was really helpful. I was able to see what was working and what was not, which was really great since I couldn't feel anything. I pushed for an hour and 15 minutes before Sofie was born at 11:35 PM. It turned out that she had been hanging out posterior, and she turned while I was pushing to come out right-side up. She did turn her face to the left instead of the right like most babies do, which was so cool because the mirror that I was watching was on my left side and I got to see her little face right away. If she would have turned to the right I would have only seen the back of her head. They put her on my stomach right away and suctioned out her mouth. Ben and I looked at each other in complete shock. There was this warm, squirming body on my belly! What an amazing and surreal experience!

After the placenta was delivered and Ben cut the cord they took her off my belly for a couple of minutes and checked her out. They gave her back to me because I wanted to try to feed her, she was so alert and she immediately latched right on and went to town. It was such a cool and amazing experience. After we spent some time bonding, Ben went out to get mom, grams and Gina, and they all came back to meet Sofie.

The whole hospital experience was wonderful. I had great nurses, Michelle, Angi, and Renee, and it was nice to be pampered and taken care of for a few days. After that first day spent in a state of disbelief and shock, and some frustrating breastfeeding attempts, I fell madly in love with Sofie in the middle of the night Wednesday. There is no explaining what it feels like to be someone's mama. There is this completely irrational worship of this new little person. There is nothing greater than kissing those chub-chub cheeks, birdy lips and neck rolls and smelling her sweet baby breath. We are so in love with our little girl.

Welcome to this big and amazing world Sofia Claire. You've changed our lives forever, and made our world more full and wonderful already. Happy Birthday!