Worm's Spot 12 Weeks!!

Well there it is, my white belly. As of this morning I have gained 7 pounds. I would like to believe that's 3 pounds of brain (mine) 3 pounds of brain (worm's) and 1 pound of boobs. However, that's probably not too realistic, especially since worm is only supposed to weigh about half an ounce at this point. I was secretly hoping that today my nausea and sleepiness would magically disappear, but that hasn't been the case either. They have been gradually waning though, and for that I am grateful.

I had another crazy dream last night. Ben and I were driving in the car, I assume to the hospital, and I delivered the baby in the passenger seat. I had a really great view too, it was weird. I totally watched the head come out and then kind of pulled the rest of the body. (Maybe that's a little too much information!) It was a little boy, he had a little bit of light brown hair and a tiny little nose. I had to clean out his mouth to get him to start breathing, but after that he was fine...and I woke up. It was a pretty cool dream. I think Ben was sort of jealous when I told him because he pouted just a bit and said, "I haven't had any dreams about the baby yet..."

Random

Bum comment #2 came yesterday as I left my apartment around 1:30pm. Upon hearing the door shut a lady bum turned around from about 20 feet down the sidewalk and shouted, "Hey baby!" Then she turned back around and kept walking as if nothing had just transpired. Perhaps she was a psychic bum and she was giving a shout out to the worm...

Ben and I took worm to its first theatre production yesterday. We went to see The Producers. It was pretty entertaining. If anyone can remember what the second ridiculously costumed lady in the Springtime for Hitler act was wearing please pass that info along to us. We can't remember and it's driving us crazy. Maybe some further help...the first one had beer, the third pretzels and the fourth had wieners.

Finally, I think the weird weather we've been having lately has the geese in these parts terribly confused. About a week ago I was up goofing around close to midnight and I swore I heard a flock of geese fly over the apartment. After a few minutes I dismissed the idea convinced that I must've been imagining things. Geese flying over the ghetto at midnight...yeah right. But I've heard them a few times since then and yesterday I saw them with my own eyes. Hundreds of geese camped out in the ghetto. Poor things, their goose-dar must be off.

Update: The second ridiculously costumed lady is wearing a viking helmet and shields. God Bless YouTube!

The Coolest Nerd Shoes Ever

I can't imagine why they only wanted fifteen bucks for these ridiculous shoes.

I think I'm in love...

Friendly Dreams

Ben and I are not planning on finding out worm's sex ahead of time. We think that it's one of the last great surprises in existence, and so we're going to try to stick it out and be genuinely surprised. In the meantime, I am in love with hearing retellings of the dreams that my friends are having about the baby's sex.

My cousin Lizze was the first to call and report that she had a vivid dream that I was hugely pregnant, happy as a clam, eating everything in sight and that when she asked if we knew the sex of the baby I remarked that we had found out it was a boy.

Today there was a message on my voice mail from my friend Dave who gleefully reported, with his scratchy sick-man voice, that he had just awoken from a nap in which he clearly dreamt that I had a healthy baby girl and that we named it something that everyone hated.

Now, this seems like a problem, a contradiction in sexes if you will, until you take into account my friend Heidi's early premonition that there are actually two worms. Oy!

In other news, I learned that the term 'immaculate conception' does not refer to the idea that Jesus was conceived by a virgin, rather it refers to the idea that Mary was born without sin and lived a sinless life. Who knew?!

A Different Kind of Worm

We live in the ghetto. Getting the heck out of here before worm enters the scene is on the to-do list. However, it has provided us with thousands of "When we were newly married...." stories. Those are priceless. Move to the ghetto and you can have some too...

Anyhow, I thought it would be interesting to keep a log of how often the resident bums talk to me, and what they say (although the resident bums know that I'm not sympathetic and don't waste their time on me anymore, and I'm sure you can take a stab at what the rest of them say!) So, here is my first entry in the bum-log: Today a bum asked if I might have a spare cigarette to offer him. Now, do I look like a smoker to you? (Ok, I realize you can't see me, but I look like a goody two shoes who has never touched a cigarette in her life.) Furthermore, a spare cigarette. Right, like a spare tire. I don't leave home without it. Oh dear.

Definitely a different kind of worm.

Speaking of which, many have commented that worm doesn't seem to be a particularly endearing nickname. Bean and peanut are perfectly acceptable, but worm, apparently, just doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy. How we began calling the baby worm is a story for another day, but in the meantime I encourage you to think glow worm or cute little wormie.

And in other news, the belly has begun its lateral journey. Ben confirmed it this morning with a, "You're showing!" so it must be true. If I make it to 12 weeks without exploding, I'll commemorate with a photo.

Houston, We Have a Heartbeat!

Ga-bum, ga-bum, ga-bum, ga-bum...

There's really something growing in there! My first appointment went really well. The midwife that I saw said, "We'll see if we can find a heartbeat. This early, we only hear about 30-40%, so it's perfectly normal if we can't find one." Then she put the little wand thingy on my belly and started moving it around for awhile. She found my heartbeat and said that worm's would be about twice as fast. She kept moving the thingy and I started to think we probably wouldn't get to hear it this time, and then...there it was! Strong and perfect. Ben and I both grinned like big crazy idiots.

I need to make a decision about whether I want a nurse-midwife or a doctor to deliver the baby. Either way, it will be at the hospital, and if there are any complications a doctor would, of course, be on hand. I'm planning a natural childbirth (I know, I know...you think I'm nuts. You don't need to remind me!) and I would like as much support with that as possible. For that reason I'm strongly considering the nurse-midwife route. They seem to be more natural-friendly and they're with you from the time you're about 4cm. dilated until the nitty-gritty end. In contrast, if I choose to have a doctor deliver the baby, I will work with the labor and delivery nurses (luck of the draw) and the doctor will be there purely for the delivery part. Insight and suggestions would be greatly appreciated...

...this would fall under the category of solicited advice!

Miscarriage Nightmare

I had a rotten nightmare the other night. I was bleeding profusely and convinced that I was miscarrying but no one else seemed to think it was a big deal. Someone in the dream asked me if I saw the baby come out, and when I replied that I didn't think so they acted like everything must be fine. Ben took me to the ER at one hospital and they wouldn't admit me, so we drove to another hospital. At the second hospital they just wouldn't take me seriously. They kept making me wait like it was no big deal. I had a complete sobbing meltdown and I was screaming about losing the baby while they all stared at me like I was an impatient moron. It was awful. I woke up before I got admitted. And then I did frantic Google searches on miscarriage dreams and what they might mean. Could they be prophetic? I didn't like what I found...good thing I'm not that compelled by all that superstitious jazz.

I have been strangely superstitious about miscarrying since the very beginning though. The day that I took my first positive pregnancy test was also my last day at a clinical site I was interning at. The staff there was really sweet, and they had a big hurrah send-off for me. One of the things they gave me was a scarlet plant. Somehow I convinced myself that keeping that plant alive was synonymous with keeping the worm alive. I have never tried so hard in my life to keep a freaking houseplant alive. Those of you who know me might recall that I can't keep a plant alive to save my life, and this plant was no different. One by one the flowers wilted and died, and as they did my superstition changed. "I don't have to keep the whole thing alive," I would think to myself. "As long as one flower sticks around the worm should be just fine." Well dear readers, the plant inevitably bit the dust. I had a hard time throwing it away. I felt like I was throwing the worm away. Please believe that I wasn't this nutty before the worm saturated me with nutty-lady hormones!

Needless to say, I'm really hoping to hear a heartbeat at my appointment this Wednesday. Perhaps that's just what I need to put all these wacky mind-games to rest...

Clothes for Big-Belly Babes

Yay for care packages from groovy sisters-in-law! Yesterday I got a wonderful package in the mail full of goodies for pregnant ladies from the pregnant lady guru herself, Mrs. Janna Vance. She has a lovely webstore specifically for natural mommies and you can check it out here:

http://www.naturalbabystore.com

Thank goodness for hand-me-down maternity clothes. I am naturally a big bargain shopper, but when you add in the pregnant factor it's become really bad. I just can't see spending so much money on a new wardrobe that's really not going to fit for very long. At the same time, I think it's important for pregnant mom's to feel good about themselves, and I have a huge desire to have cute things to wear. So, the more cute hand-me-downs I can get my mits on, the happier I am!

I broke down and did some internet shopping today too. Yeehaw, more fun packages in the mail! For the most part my pants still fit, the bigger ones at least, but they're starting to get uncomfortable. I've already gained 6 pounds, which I am flipping out about!! I guess that's the glory of getting pregnant right before Thanksgiving. I usually gain 3-4 pounds over the holidays anyway, it's just that this year there won't be an opportunity to take them back off. I honestly think the biggest culprit is the excessive sleeping. Hopefully, when I get back into the post-holiday routine and I'm feeling good enough to exercise again I'll be able to manage the weight gain a bit better. I have my first prenatal appointment on the 17th. I'll keep you posted!

Name Bet

So, choosing a human being's name is sort of daunting. It's one of those things that seems like it's going to be loads of fun until you get right down to actually doing it. I recall registering for wedding gifts ended up being similarly painful for me. Ben and I have pretty much agreed on a girl's name from the beginning, but we've been violently opposed to one another's choices for boy's names. One day I got so fed up, and since I am a pregnant brat I said, "The next time we have a kid, and all of your organs get pushed out of place to accommodate it and you gain 30 pounds and have to push out a watermelon, then you can name it." Then I got the bright idea that if he could somehow go through a similarly difficult experience, then perhaps he might be qualified to choose a name. So I said, "if you can lose 30 pounds by this baby's due date then we'll name it whatever you want." If not, it's me all the way baby. He seemed to think that was a reasonable deal. So, it's settled. Please send me your recipes for delicious and fattening delights!

First Trimester Nightmare

Ok...I don't mean to be a whiny, complainy, pregnant lady and I'll try to keep the whining and complaining to a bare minimum, but today I need to vent. For years I have admired pregnant ladies. There's something fascinating about the idea of a tiny person growing inside of someone's belly. INSIDE people...it's madness. Somehow in all of my admiration I missed the whole concept that it's actually not all that easy or fun growing people in your belly. In actuality, it kind of sucks. I had delusions of happiness and glowing and sugar coated fairies. It seems that it's slightly taboo to mention that there is plenty of misery involved. So...for those of you out there who are as naive as I once was, let me educate you a bit. Following is a list of things that really suck suck suck about being pregnant.

• Nausea: Dear God the nausea. It's awful. It is not fun to walk around all day feeling like BLEH. It is especially not fun to walk around all day feeling like BLEH while trying not to mention the fact that you are pregnant to people. Furthermore, "supportive" family and friends quickly tire of hearing about how awful you feel, and can you really blame them? But, oh dear God the nausea.

• The Sleepiness: Sleepiness is not even an accurate descriptor really. It's more like there are heavy things tied to all of your parts, eyelids included. Has a way of making the day really drag. Combine it with the nausea, and you can imagine that pregnant ladies are a real drag to hang around.

• Boobs: Ow. And might I add that it's particularly reassuring when, during an early morning snuggle session, your husband remarks that...hm...that one seems bigger than this one. Apparently no one sends any messages to the milk-maker cells that it would be particularly nice if they could make the same amount on each side.

• Jekyll and Hyde: By this I am referring to the general insanity that is the pregnant woman's emotional status. I have had a couple of meltdowns that could rival a three year old's temper tantrum. It's like a strange demon has decided to take residence and pop out his nasty little head at the most unpredictable and inopportune times. Also, I've become a world-class worrier. Not that I didn't do my fair share of worrying before, but this, my friends, is a steroid induced version.

• Unsolicited Advice: Why is it that everyone thinks they've got the inside scoop on the best stuff, the best choices and the best tactics? It kills me. People will trip over each other to be "helpful" to the pregnant lady. I find it disruptive and annoying. And frankly, I don't care if you love the name Dilbert. Please don't groan when I mention a name that I like. It's not YOUR kid!!!!

• Gaining Weight: Apparently your cute little pregnant belly doesn't begin to really take shape until you're sneaking up on five months pregnant. Until then you just get increasingly uncomfortable in your pants and struggle to maintain that you are not getting fat you are manufacturing a child, even though it appears as though you went overboard on the turkey this Christmas.

Phew. I feel better. I promise to be perky, glowing and sugar-coated from here on out!

New Beginnings

I've been considering starting a blog for awhile now. I had plans for "The ColorOttos" as I anticipated my husband and I moving out of state for the first time. It seemed like a great way to feel connected with all of my family back home. Who knows, that may still happen someday. For now, we are still in Ohio and no longer contemplating such a big move in the near future. What we are contemplating in the near future is a tiny addition to the family. We've affectionately named it the worm. Worm has been taking root in my belly for the past eight weeks now and we're starting to feel attached. I thought it might be nice to have a little forum to keep track of my evolving thoughts through these next long months as our little family embarks on this crazy adventure. Welcome aboard!


***Update 4/19/12***
We made it to Colorado! Until today, this blog was called "Meet Worm".