I had a rotten nightmare the other night. I was bleeding profusely and convinced that I was miscarrying but no one else seemed to think it was a big deal. Someone in the dream asked me if I saw the baby come out, and when I replied that I didn't think so they acted like everything must be fine. Ben took me to the ER at one hospital and they wouldn't admit me, so we drove to another hospital. At the second hospital they just wouldn't take me seriously. They kept making me wait like it was no big deal. I had a complete sobbing meltdown and I was screaming about losing the baby while they all stared at me like I was an impatient moron. It was awful. I woke up before I got admitted. And then I did frantic Google searches on miscarriage dreams and what they might mean. Could they be prophetic? I didn't like what I found...good thing I'm not that compelled by all that superstitious jazz.
I have been strangely superstitious about miscarrying since the very beginning though. The day that I took my first positive pregnancy test was also my last day at a clinical site I was interning at. The staff there was really sweet, and they had a big hurrah send-off for me. One of the things they gave me was a scarlet plant. Somehow I convinced myself that keeping that plant alive was synonymous with keeping the worm alive. I have never tried so hard in my life to keep a freaking houseplant alive. Those of you who know me might recall that I can't keep a plant alive to save my life, and this plant was no different. One by one the flowers wilted and died, and as they did my superstition changed. "I don't have to keep the whole thing alive," I would think to myself. "As long as one flower sticks around the worm should be just fine." Well dear readers, the plant inevitably bit the dust. I had a hard time throwing it away. I felt like I was throwing the worm away. Please believe that I wasn't this nutty before the worm saturated me with nutty-lady hormones!
Needless to say, I'm really hoping to hear a heartbeat at my appointment this Wednesday. Perhaps that's just what I need to put all these wacky mind-games to rest...
I've been having some crazy dreams too... I read something that said it's normal to have nightmares and to remember your dreams a lot more vividly than what you normally would... throughout the whole pregnancy. Your appointment tomorrow will go great!! Tell them about your dreams and how they've freaked you out... maybe they'll do an ultrasound to calm you down. ;o) Keep me posted!!
ReplyDeleteI meant to say...dreams about miscarrying, or anything else, are related to anything organic (in other words, your body is not trying to tell you something). It's all in the mind.
ReplyDeleteMy mommy assessment is this is perfectly normal. I lost count of all the n8ightmares I had (EXACTLY like that one) while I was pregnant with Elliott. I'm not belittling the emotions that I'm sure came with the nightmare. I'm simply saying that I literally had the exact same one repeatedly. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI had the exact same nightmare more times than I can count while pregnant with Elliott. I tell you this not to belittle the emotions that you felt with the nightmare. I'm sharing this simply because I want you to know that these nightmares are perfectly normal. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI had the exact same nightmare more times than I can count while pregnant with Elliott. I tell you this not to belittle the emotions that you felt with the nightmare. I'm sharing this simply because I want you to know that these nightmares are perfectly normal. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteAnd I have no idea why it's posted 3 different times - once with wrong email address. Sorry about that. :) lol
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